Get Your Jingle Bells Out Of My Way!

Caution! Upcoming rant on: Christmas Shopping

"Um, excuse me. Could you move that cart?"

"..ouch. Can you not run into me?"

"I'm sorry, the line starts back there."

Ever find yourself saying any of the above during Christmas shopping season? It seems that almost everyone dislikes Christmas shopping. Crowded stores, long line-ups, and dirty looks are only the beginning. It's enough to drive anyone to not have fun in their one horse open sleigh.

Normally I enjoy Christmas shopping. I hear the people around me grunt and groan that they have to challenge the malls, but I always found it to be an easy going experience, with more people to deal with.

This year, I had a hell of a lot of presents to buy, but I was prepared, I brought a list, and set out on Saturday morning with Nat. I bought some wrapping paper and a few gifts, so my bag was a little awkward, but hey, whatever. I was almost done at the mall, and ventured into Coles. Coles is always a store that has a huge line-up at Christmas. Books must get everyone excited. "Ooooh, semi-gloss pages, Trump's autobiography, books on cheese..Yay!" So I find a couple books I want to buy, and I need to get down an eisle, but this woman has her baby carriage parked across the entire eisle so I have no chance of getting through. I say calmly to the woman who is sitting reading a book next to hear baby carriage, "Excuse me." No answer. "Excuse me? Can you move your baby carriage?" Then she looks up at me and gives me a dirty look and goes back to her book! So I stand there for a minute, flabber-gasted that someone can actually be blatantly and knowingly rude. Do I look like I have time to deal with an ignorant woman who wants to test my patience after I've been at the mall for the entire day? If I do, I better get a new haircut. I was about ready to deck her halls, but I pushed by instead.

A couple days after I went back to finish my shopping; it was considerably more busy. Stores like EB Games and Turtle Pond Toys were so crowded that we actually had to leave because we were getting claustrophobic. Now I know folks that the Beanie Babies and the My Little Ponies are very exciting, and the Hello Kitty pencil case is to die for, but if you see 800 people in a store the size of a bathroom, don't try to make it 801; we don't need a world record today.

Another thing that bothers me is the mall hires these three people to sing Christmas carols throughout the mall. They dress up in old-timey clothing and literally chase people around the mall. If you're just sitting at a table eating, they will stand there and sing to you. "Hello, awkward? Yes, come back later. I'm all stocked up right now."

Well, I got all my shopping done, and I now know why many people dislike shopping during the holidays. If you don't hate Christmas shopping yet, wait until you run into your baby carriage lady, or the Christmas chase singers. You will.

--Jam