This Sucksubus

It occurred to me earlier today who the guy driving the SUV was, in the dream from yesterday's post. It sort of popped into my head as I was getting my hair cut. (It looks totally cute, just so you know.)

I hadn't thought about him in a long time, maybe even a year. I had just accepted he was gone, I guess. He's with another guy, we're not together and haven't seen one another in about four years. I can't believe it still hurts to think about him. I guess that means it'll never really go away. I'm actually kind of dreading the day I actually do see him again. We're from the same town, so I suppose anything is possible. However, if I were to bump into him at Christmas, I'd probably throw up nog and yuletide joy all over the place.

I really like his boyfriend as a person, so I feel bad keeping feelings for this guy tucked away in me somewhere, but I guess I feel like I can't let them go. Maybe some feelings stay forever, tucked away for dreams of a life I can never have.

Hopefully someday I'll get my knight in shining SUV.

--Jam