Welcome Back, Self

Well lookie there! It's me! Well, actually, if you can see me, then that's creepy, and I should shut my blinds. Quit stalking me, bloggers. Jeez.

Anyway, happy everything! Happy Christmas, Happy New Year, happy happy happy! My computer is finally back from the shop, monitor working and all, and although it can't hold a charge so I can never unplug it, I'm satisfied for now. I can see the world in binary wonder once again and oh, the 1s and 0s look fabulous this morning!

Although I have many long tangents that I'm sure I'll blog about in the near future (as my vacation was full of rants that I was unable to blog and torture you with), I'm going to talk about soberness for a moment. This New Year, though I drank more than I normally do, I didn't get drunk. I didn't even feel it. I know, I know--that sounds like some eighteen-year-old: "I've drank this much and I don't even feel it!" However, as a seasoned binge drinker, I know what to drink and how much. Two nights ago, I drank that much and more and simply didn't get drunk. (If someone could give me an explanation, that would be fantastic.)

Due to this, I went dancing sober. Now, I don't know about you, but I hate clubbing sober. People run into you, you dance like a stiff idiot, and everyone suddenly becomes more annoying. All of these things are happening while you're drunk, of course, but you don't notice them. Drinking puts lovely fuzzy windows over your eyes so when you see all these awful things, you just laugh and burp a little. Great fun, no? Well, needless to say, it was a strange experience to say the least, and I will not be soberly jumping into a sea of drunk people in a long time.

--Jam

To come: Boy tales, awful man, airportcapades.

PS: Jeez is a word. Wha? I leave the internet for a month and it goes to shiz.
PPS: Shiz is not a word. Thank Jebus.