Specs

So today I signed into my Facebook, as I do about twenty times a day (self-admitted addict), around 11:30pm. One notification: You have a new Honesty Box message.

Ooh.

For those of you who don't know, Honesty Box is an application on Facebook that allows a person to message another without leaving an identity--being honest, yet anonymous. Normally, these messages are from boys who are too shy to say anything in person, or a friend telling you how much they love you while leaving mini-hints about their identity. (I do that all the time.) This time, however, I received this:

"I really wish you'd stop living in an altruistic dream world and step into the harsh light of reality."

Pardon? Well, first of all, I had to look up altruistic as I hadn't heard it in years. It means to put others above oneself to the point of being detrimental to the generous individual. Now, I think I'm generous and giving and definitely put others ahead of myself, but I really don't think I'm that far south. I do enjoy myself and have an ego in there too, but I digress.

Facebook tells me it's a guy, so that narrows it down somewhat. I had thought of some female friends immediately, but this obviously removes them from the list of suspects. I called/messaged some friends to try to get some opinions on who it could be with little avail.

Shortly after, I talked to a friend of mine back home, an ex, that was very frank in telling me that anyone who knows me well could have said this; that I wear rose-coloured glasses. Hm. Well, if altruistic was meant to be used in that context, which doesn't make much sense but I can see a small connection, then what would compel someone to randomly send me a message telling me to be more realistic? Why wouldn't that person just talk to me to my face? It angers me, actually, because whoever this person is obviously sees life in a jaded fashion if they think it's shown in a "harsh light of reality." Because I see life in an optimistic way, I should change that simply because other people are grouchy and pessimistic?

Fuck. That.

Is my life perfect? Hell no. Am I going to get every last thing I want out of life? Hell yes. If I choose to be ambitious with unattainable aspirations, that is my prerogative, but at least I have goals and a mind of my own. If I didn't listen to my heart, I would be miserable in a business school somewhere, or miserable counting money for people who don't appreciate it. This is my life and I choose to live it the way I please. I am damn happy with the way I turned out and if my surreal attitudes are bothering you, please let me know, because I'd hate for you to have to send me another "anonymous" message.

--Jam