Stress Safari

Hello all my wonderful bunnies!

So I know what you guys want for Easter. You want to go on safari and track down the stress creatures that will be haunting you this Easter, right? I knew it. Let's go!

The Family Stresses
The biggest and baddest of all stresses, this primarily skin coloured stress makes very annoying noises. It attacks its prey using guilt and ignorance, and expects you to reassure it and take care of it in its old age. The family stresses feed on anything from small children to young adults, or even each other. The elders normally will fight for a reigning place as the head of the family, when really the younger generation is the most knowledgable and competant in doing so.

The Essay Stresses
The most intricate of all stresses, these blend in well with zebras as they are primarily black and white; occasionally they have red markings from collision with professor stresses. The essay stresses live in the deepest regions of text books, and are normally hard to find or make visible. They can travel alone, but normally travel in groups, called screams or freak-outs. Essays have distinct features, such as theses or conclusions, but the midsection is very blurry, often disliked by professor stresses. Unlike other hibernating creatures, the essay stresses hibernate in the summer rather than the winter.

The Money Stresses
As the most overlooked stresses, the money stresses are many different colours; the smaller money stresses are blue, purple, or green, while the larger, more powerful are red and brown. They appear in early fall and hibernate until Christmas, but continue to be bothersome for those months through annoying snores called bills. During the Christmas and Spring seasons, the money stresses roar and pain those around them. They can easily be trapped in debit cages, but slowly leak out, as they are made of many different parts. Money stresses are technically infinite, but are dificult to find and trap, especially during a student's university career.

During my trip home to the Brantford Savannah, I'm sure I will bump into all three of these stresses, and possibly others. Easter has always been one of my least favourite holidays, and I'm sure this weekend will be no exception. I remember talking to Meaghan and Brittany last year about this, but alas, this year Meaghan is on campus and I'm not, and Brit has fallen off the Earth. Hopefully I'll just get so plastered that I won't know what's going on, and it'll all be a blissful blur.

Happy Easter.

--Safari Jam

Listen to: Alone by Heart