Stupid

Evenin'.

So tonight Craig, Cody, and I went to Toronto to pick up a friend's vehicle from an impound lot (random, I'm aware). I just got back and my mind won't stop bothering me, so I write here.

I'm still in a crap-ass mood. Can't stop thinking about Dan and his stupid stupidness. Most recent news: his ex was talking to me on gay.com for some reason. Dan hadn't told him that we broke up, which is strange, and he was asking me all these weird questions. I'm gonna try to find him on there tomorrow and get some info, because I'm very annoyed. Other news is he blocked me, but didn't delete me (I use msngeeks.com). I'm not sure why he would block me (maybe to avoid having to talk to me while the breakup was "fresh), but it pisses me off to no end and I'm so frustrated with him and dating in general.

This is how it seems to go with me. There are three scenarios I get into:

1. I meet a guy who seems nice, but later turns out to be psycho. Dump him fast.
2. I meet a guy who seems nice and is, but I'm not compatible with in the end. End it fast too.
3. I meet a guy who I really like, but who treats me like dirt. He dumps me.

There can be variations, but those are basic guidelines. Dan obviously is fitting into category three, class.

I'm sick of dating. I'm sick of the fact that I "need" a man to feel complete. What moron came up with the social construct that we need a partner? I wish I could say I'm completely satisfied as a single man, but for some stupid reason, I can't. So I get extremely happy when I finally meet a guy who is interested in me and in the relationship and who is not a psycho. Scratch that, they're all psychos.

I wanna go find him and work it out, or find him and scream at him, or find him and kick him in the shins, but I don't wanna be the crazy one, even though I already feel like it.

Men are stupid. Relationships are stupid. I'm stupid for needing them.

--Stupid Jam