A Quiz of Jam

A li'l quiz thang I stole from Amykins. Mwa ha.

GENERIC TEENAGER STEREOTYPE

Do you drink [alcohol]?:Do fish have gills and uckly faces?
Do you party a lot?:Is Elton John hot? No.
How often do you use the word like in an average hour?:Eighten Hundred Twenty-five times.
Do you skip classes?:Maybe.
How often?:Maybe.
Do you have casual sex?:Last time I checked I wasn't icky.
Protected?:I suppose if I did.
Do you steal?:Only sunrays from the sun! Take that, you big fireball!
Do you wear inappropriate clothing?:I have a shirt that says "Stop pretending you don't want me"! I'm such a rebel!
Do you drool over celebrities?:I'm sorry, what was the question? I was too busy fantacising my life living with Josh Hartnett and Seann William Scott.
Do you watch a lot of TV?:Only ma storays.
Do you ever watch the News?:Is Air Farce the News?
Do you even care about world issues?:If you paid me.
Do you read books often?:Sometimes.
Are you failing a lot of your classes?:Sometimes.
Do you spend most of your time with your friends?:Them or air.
Do you smoke cigarettes?:You smell.
Do you hang out a lot in malls, or at Seven Elevens?:The mall is better than the quarry and the pit combined!
Do you curse a lot?:Only when you're being a jerk. Like, remember the time I put that curse on you where you had a bird stuck to your arm! Haaa, oh the old days.
Is the ocean blue?:Apparantly.
Are you blue?:Apparantly.
Are you desperate to fit in?:Apparantly.
Are you intelligent?:Definitely.

THE GOTH STEREOTYPE

Black lipstick?:Ick.
Black eyeliner?:Ilk.
Black eyeshadow?:Bleck.
Black trenchcoat?:Flack.
Black boots?:Chunk.
Black fishnets?:Floo.
Black nail polish?:Achoo.
Cigarettes?:Clunk.
Heavy metal music?:...all these questions are poo. Ask me if I'm sexy or have good fashion sense.
Marilyn Manson?:Yes. He is a person.
Kittie?:I love kitties.
Cradle of Filth?:Basonette of Mud?
Constant frown and perpetual angst?:For the last time, I hate Simple Plan!
Are you an intellectual?:How is the goth stereotype that they're intellectuals? That's stupid. You're stupid.
An atheist?:You have to beeelieeeve!
Horrible home life?:True.
Hopelessly depressed?:False.
Suffering with suicidal idealations?:Umm.. also false?
Self-mutilation?:Aaaand very false.

THE PUNK STEREOTYPE

Plaid?:Ew.
Big black boots?:You asked me this "question" before. I recall "chunk".
Mohawk?:Only the faux variety.
Excessive piercings? [Especially facial]:Ew.
Loud, confident and opinionated?:I'M SO GREAT. YOU'RE A POO.
Wild hair colors?:I like my normal hair.
NOFX?:CATS?
Rancid?:No, I smell like hot man.
Well versed on political scandals and outrages?:Not really.

THE JOCK STEREOTYPE

What's your IQ?:Genius to High Genius (I'm so wonderful. I love me.)
Do you watch a lot of sports?:Tennis, baby!
Play a lot of sports?:Tennis AND badminton, baby!
Talk a lot about sports?:No one listens lol.
Do you do anything, really, but think about sports?:Umm.. sometimes I breathe. And eat. But only on occasion.
Are you arrogant?:I'm perfect.
Are you a male or female whore?:Well, first of all, I'm male, I think. So yes, but no to the other part.
Are you homophobic?:Ah! Oh, sorry, I look at my arm. AH! Oh, that's just my other arm. AH! AH! Boy I'm scary!
Do you tease other people a lot because you want to seem confident?: You stink.
Boobs: Zero.
Parties: More than zero.
Dropping out of high school and flipping burgers:Pffft. It's so uncool to drop out of highschool. All the cool kids are dropping out of uni.

THIS OR THAT

Originality or Acceptance?:Love me!
Independence or Companionship?:Either or.
Stability or Freedom?:All of the above.
Personal or Interpersonal?:Inter.
Introvert or Extrovert?:Extro.
Popularity or Isolation?:Popu.
Unique or Loved?:I love my uniqueness. You smell.
Understood or Individual?:I'm so misunderstood!! What do you mean you don't like Sonique?
You or Them?: Me, baby. BAAAABY!
Boyfriend/girlfriend:Tee hee, yes.
Crush:I guess, if you can have a crush on your own bf.
Do you love anyone right now:*shrug*
Have you ever been in love:Not really.
Ever really cared for someone in that way:Kay, you JUST asked me have I ever been... seems like the same question, dorkus. Yeah quiz, you heard me.
How many hearts have you broken:Twenty.
Do you go more by looks or personality:Looks, then personality. It's natural.
Ever kiss a friend:Well, there was this one passionate soap opera kiss at my birthday party.
Are you still friends:Of course. With benefits! *wink* Aaaaah ha, I'm so funny.
Do you smoke:Didn't you already ask me this, too? You're a moron.
Weed:Vom?
Prefer beer or liquor:Mmmm.. liquor.

WOULD YOU EVER

Bungee jump:Totally.
Skydive:I'd love to!
Swim with dolphins:Um no.
Scuba dive:Haha, no.
Go rock climbing:Surely.
Change your religion:Re..li..gion?
Turn your back on your friends for personal gain:I doubt it.
Steal a friend's boyfriend/girlfriend:I also doubt that. Unless it was Mr. Hartnett.
Lie to the police:Only if he asked me if he smelled and he did. Then I'd say no.
Run from the police:Only to be on TV.
Walk up to a total stranger and kiss them:Only in the village.
Fight someone you used to be really close with:Sure.

HAVE YOU EVER

Flashed someone:For guys to flash, it takes too much effort. All that unzipping and.. so, no.
Told the person you liked how you felt:Yeah, if I'm in a mushy mood.
Gotten really REALLY wasted:Of course! Who hasn't? *Those of you who haven't, you shush.*
Skateboarded:Hahahaha. Oh, that was a good one.
Been to a concert:Jason McCoy! Holla!
Been to another country:Just America. Oh, and France, too!
Talked back to an adult:HAHAHA! WHAT? LOL HA! Tee hee, oh boy that's a good one! "No you shut up, gramps! Foo!" HAAA!
Given money to some homeless person:Falso.

THE LAST THING

You drank:Beer, made of roots!
The last place you went:The moon. I mean mall.
Last thing you bought:The moon. I mean Koolaid.
Last person you saw:CHRISSY! Well, actually Athena. But I see her all the time. She's like part of the house.
Last person you hugged:Lindsay! You ma baaaybah!
Last song you heard:Lemmings on the Run by E-Rotic is on right now.

YES OR NO

Are you straight:I stand up straight sometimes.
Are you short:Shut up.
Do you own a hot pink shirt:Pink is SO 2004.
Do you like Marilyn Manson:Did he sponsor this quiz along with cigarette companies or something?
Did you ever touch someone else's no-no spot:*gasp* I would never touch someone's ankle! You're a perv!
Do you shop at Hot Topic:Who or what is Hot Topic? I guess no.
Do you remember your dreams:Too often.
Can people read you like a book:Not normally.
Do you talk alot:My jaw gets sore sometimes.
Can you drive:Go Karts, yes.
Are you an only child:Once upon a time I was. Back in the day.

This quiz needs a better ending.

Number of insults to the reader or the Sun or the general anythingness:15.
Number of compliments to self:9.
Time it took to fill this damn thing out:1:02

THE END!

--Jam the Quizmaster