Ulcerific

Hey Hey.

So I don't even know what to write. I was going to another post about how life smells and all that jazz, but I don't really have the energy. I think I have a stomach ulcer though, so that's fun. Been vomming all day. Mmmmm, vom!

Dan comes home tomorrow-ish. I can't wait to see him. I feel like such a love-sick puppydog (even though I'd rather be a kittycat.. let's change the analogy), but I just need a whole bunch of cheering up and I have a feeling he's just the person to do that.

My appeal to go back into school failed. No medical reason. My last effort is to go in and actually physically talk to someone on Monday or Tuesday and try to beg or plead or something. I need to stay at Brock. When I try to think of what I would do if I couldn't go back to Brock or if I had to leave Summers Castle, I feel sick and start to bawl (ball?) my eyes out (what a stupid saying).

I've been doing a lot of crying lately.. well, as much crying as I can do. Moskalyk's and McDonald's don't cry at anything, so it's almost hard for me to cry. But in dire times like this, times where I'm really at my lowest, it's hard not to. I mean my mom treats me like a dumbass, my dad treats me like a dumbass and doesn't speak to me, most of my friends are walking on eggshells around me now that all this has happened, and some are being so ridiculous I could scream.

I can feel myself getting angrier and less like me, and I hate it. I hate what's happening and I hate that I have no control.. and I'm terrified of what will happen if I don't get it back.

--Ulcerific Jam