The Pessimist and his Satisfactory Drear

CAUTION! Upcoming rant on: Pessimism

Through elementary school, all a child is ever told is that he/she can do anything.

"The world is your oyster" is the cheesy euphemism I actually heard when I was younger, more naive, and apparently, more competent. I was a straight 'A' student until grade 12, and even dropped a course in highschool because I was on the fast track to getting a B. The success fairy was on my side, working overtime. The thought never occurred to me that I wouldn't make it. I had been told so many times that I can do what I love, I can love what I do, and I will succeed as long as you try hard. This isn't true anymore. I am now, quite proudly, a university dropout. I still consider myself to be an outstanding human being, a moral and intelligent person, who can conquer anything and who still has much success in my future. My family and some friends, though, think otherwise. The fairy skipped town.

"Safe" is a word I hear often. Other than baseball and the vault at work, it is a troublesome word that haunts my ambitions and desires. It taunts me to no end, through the voices of so many others, to destroy any thoughts of success, money, and happiness. It tells me I should fall in line with the masses. I should take a job I dislike in order to live. Money is the supreme goal, not happiness. The idea behind the word is one that is common: "don't try because you will fail". If I don't try, and simply accept something I know I can do, then I won't have to experience the failure. Why would I want to experience the fall from the highest platform if I can stay sturdy on the lower one? Why try if I can not?

The answer: Life is not worth living without the risk of greater happiness.

I was told by my grandfather today, while I was having a fun chat with my young male banker about how boring banking actually is, that we "will both learn one day that every job is the same." My grandfather is a man who worked for his family at a carpet manufacturer for thirty or more years. He settled in order to fulfill his growing responsibilities. Instead of following a more perilous path, he took the path more secure. He, along with so many others, believes the first path is not worthwhile.

I, on the other hand, disagree. I will not fall into line with the pessimists and settle for what is not mine to have. I am meant, as I was told as a child, to succeed, as long as I have ambition, and I have every intention of never forgetting that. I will not settle to be a banker or anything else. I would rather fall from the highest tower then stand on the ground wondering what the sky had to show me. I would rather experience the failure than never have the opportunity to do so.

My fairy will come back. All I need to do is make her a home, and take the risk to do so.

--Jam