The Prophet

Aftanoon.

I've been thinking a lot lately (nothing new there). Just about all the things I'll be missing when I'm gone, or things I'm already missing. Things other people have, things I want, need, or crave. I mean going to Newfoundland is the right move, right? This is what I've wanted for a while: a fresh start. Yeah, it's right. Just, worrysome.

My dreams have been so intense lately. I had one last night where I received an email from an ex that I recently emailed and he invited me to come visit. He sent me this map and it was like a video game, and he lived in an area I had already explored. So I went to his place and when I arrived he was Robert from Everybody Loves Raymond (lol I know I know). So we were cuddling on the couch, and then he said he wanted to get some McDonald's, so we walked there and on the walk, he turned into my Nana. When we got there, she was looking through her little change purse so she could buy me lunch, but then on their computer screen, I had a warning because I had apparantly been to McDonald's before and spent $750 on McFrites, which in my head were fries in a little square container with tomatoes and sour cream on them. (LOL oh god I sound like a crazy person.. but it's not over yet) They said that they had to talk to their manager to find out if they could give me any food lol (kind of like what I do at the bank, with cashback and stuff like that). By this time, Nana had turned into Loretta. I don't remember much after except me and Loretta eating at a table and me buying her Sprite because she couldn't drink Coke because of her religion lol.

So I woke up and was like what the fark am I on, but after closer analysis, I realized that maybe this was my mind thinking about what I'll be missing.

Robert and the ex emailing me represents guys that I have a past with that I have unfinished feelings over.

Nana represents my family that I'll be leaving behind and may not see for a long time. Who knows how long Nana will be around.. maybe I should be staying and spending more time with her?

McDonald's represents the bank and the people in it. A job I don't dislike. Maybe I shouldn't be pursuing another job because what if I never get a job I like this much (that would be sad though because I don't like it THAT much).

Loretta represents all my many friends I have here, in St. Catharines, in Brantford, that I won't see for a very long time. Distance does things to friendships.. I might not have as many when I get back in three years or so.

What if I don't come back.

My brain hurts lol. I'm gonna go to the grocery store ALONE and buy food lol. Everyone around here sucks. :P

--Prophet Jam (Grace at work nicknamed me this for some reason. I love it!)