Alongly the Lines of Articulation

Okay, so get this.

I'm in gay.com, just relaxing after my semi-long day at the mall and in the heat, and I see a picture of a guy and he has a little tattoo near his belly button. I recognize it as the swimming woman in The English Patient (the painted figure that Katharine recreates). So I ask him and sure enough, it is.So I'm like wow, this guy is one cool dude to have that as a tattoo!

I ask him, "where you from?".

He says "did you read my chat bioline", which I had, and it said something along the lines of 'I need an articulate pig' or something strange like that.

So I respond "Yeah, but you wanting an articulate pig isn't helping me know where you're from."

He replies, "'Where you from' isn't very articulate." Oh, gee, I'm sorry! I'm a terrible person for leaving out one word! My name's not James McDonald. It's James Hitler or James Stalin or James Bin Laden. My bad. If I had said 'Where are you from?' instead, I'm sure that this pompous jackass would have been nicer. I dumb down language when I'm in gay.com because, let's be honest, there aren't the brightest bulbs in that chat room.

So I read his profile, and amidst the grammatical and spelling errors (which don't seem very articulate to me), he has the word alongly.

Now boys and girls, who can tell me what alongly means? What? No one? Oh, is that because it doesn't exist? Oh, poor class. F--.

So I tell him that he has the word alongly in his profile. He gets defensive and says he doesn't. I copy & paste. He says "Oh, thanks for that. However, alongly was not intentional. Where you from was."

Okay, buddy. Someone needs to come down off their pedestal. Come on. I'll give you a treat! Thaaat's a good boy!

I'm a freaking english major! I hate it when people make errors in text (ask Leanne). So who the hell does this arrogant guy think he is? Does he think that for some odd reason, because he can pinpoint grammatical errors (but also make them himself in his profile, heaven forbid), that he is some martyr who shall one day save the human race? Because if he's building an arc, I ain't gettin' on.

Screw that boat. I'll buy a lifejacket.

--Articulate Jam