Don't Stop

Hey everybody!

I had a great idea for a blog today! I haven't written in so long because I have so much going on (which doesn't make sense, but it's not really entertaining stuff as much as Jam's head explodes stuff. So what I'm going to do is write an entire blog without backspacing, besides for spelling errors, because that would be just silly to leave those in. I mean, duh. Let's go!

The Oscars pissed me off! I watch them every year and get so excited for them, and every year they disappoint me with their decisions. Every single year. This year, "Babel" was my choice for best everything, and it only pulled out best original score. I agree that the music was what made that movie spectacular, amongst other things, but it was such a gripping and moving film. It reminds me of "Crash", last year's winner, only so much better. Crash was great, but didn't stay with me as much as Babel will. Babel was about the universality of pain and suffering and the barrier we face with communication. It was less of a public service announcement like "Crash" and more of a real film. On the bright side, Cate Blanchett looked so hot. Like, even I could tell that. She is probably my favourite actress - she almost makes me want to go straight. Almost.

If you haven't seen Babel, see it. It changed my life.

School's going surprisingly well. I have this grammar course that I was terrified to take because, well, ew, grammar. My prof showed up the first day of classes and said a bunch of us would fail and that she's a devil spawn, basically. Every other class, she's been my favourite professor, lol. She's funny and helpful and I guess she wanted to pretend she was tough for a day. It's fun to pretend, Mrs. Nice Prof. Sometimes I pretend I'm a movie star! ..*ahem* anyway, I really love the class because I get the material, and it's straight-forward, not subjective like the rest of my courses. There's this gorgeous man who sits about four seats up from me. He's basically my downfall because I'll be staring at him and the prof will ask me a question and I'll be in some dreamy-man-fantasy. Damn you, hot men of the world. Damn you.

I've made some friends recently that I think will be friends for life, which makes me SO happy. I was getting so worried that my friendships here were just fleeting expenditures, but I've met some who really value who I am, what I have to offer, etc. They've given me self-confidence I never knew I could have. I look in the mirror and actually think I look good because they do think I look good. I mean, no one has ever really called me ugly or unattractive, but whenever my friends call me "hot" or whatever, I always feel like they're lying, or just playing along. These people, though, see that I'm a handsome person inside and out and it feels really great. I hope I get more time to hang out with them and get to know them before summer!

I like this boy. I really don't even know him that well, but what I have seen of him, I adore. He's really what I'd be looking for in a guy - he's self-motivated, funny, outgoing, social. The only thing is I don't think he likes me. I get mixed signals all the time. I guess he doesn't want to move fast because he's still hurt from his ex, but it's hard to wait when you see something amazing, you see what could be, and you know you can't have it. I'm not saying that to be creepy like "I MUST HAVE HIM, GRALGH!" (That was my monster-creepy noise thing..) I'm saying that I could see something with him, something that I haven't seen in a long time, and it's just hard to know after searching for so long, that this may not come to fruition.

On a side note, since I'm rambling on, on purpose mind you, I'm sick of people telling me not to look for love, or whatever they say. I "look for love", as retarded as that sounds, because I feel I am a very complete person, and I'm ready to be in a relationship. Am I lonely? Yeah. I live on an island with no close friends. Could I live without a boyfriend? Of course. I'm not some needy leech. (I'm a non-needy leech! Aaaaahaha.. ha.. kidding.) Anyways, I know I'll find a guy, even if it's not this guy, but this is my blog and I can cry if I want to!

I had a conversation with the guy about how nothing good ever lasts. There's always an end, that everything is finite. At first I said that he shouldn't think like that, and he just has to find something or someone that will be an infinite good. After thinking, I kind of agree with him, but I don't really.. I don't really care, lol. I mean, I've had friends that have come and gone through my life, I have friends now that will do the same, but what does it matter? As long as you keep living and keep experiencing good things, the good will not be finite, just how you achieve the good. Does that make sense? Does any of this make sense? Wow, the things that spew out of my brain when I don't stop typing. Type type type type! ..yep!

I've been looking for a place this week. My previous plans fell through, so I'm going to just be getting a room in a student house somewhere. Frankly, it should be a good experience, living with a bunch of random people. I mean, I'll meet an entire new group of people and their friends, and I'll get to see the city from a whole other perspective by living elsewhere. Oooh, AND, I'm going to get a cell phone next year rather than a land-line. I've decided. The phone I want, which is going to be astronomically expensive, is the Apple iPhone. It is released in July and is so sleak and innovative and I just want it. I probably can't have it because I'm as poor as a bum with student loans (Actually, I kind of AM a bum with student loans!), but I'm gonna try! Mmm, pretty phone.

I might not be able to go to Animé North this year. That's the big event I go to every year with Heidi and the gang, and I love it more than basically anything else in the entire year, but if I get a job here, I guess I'll have to stay. It makes me so sad, and I'm really going to try to get there, but it might not happen, and that makes me as sad as a bum with student loans and a scrape on his knee. That's one sad bum.

My shirt says "The bigger the boots, the bigger the stud." I love it to bits! I need to buy more witty tees. I'll be the king of the ball! ..the t-shirt ball. Because.. shut up.

We have mice in our townhouse. They live in between my floor and the living room ceiling. We hear them running around when we get really quiet. It's the creepiest sound ever. At first, I had an image of a pile of bones falling over and rattling. Well, maybe the mice knocked over bones? ..I get to move soon! Yay! Haha!

"Heroes" is getting crazy. If any of you don't watch it, you're silly willies and should go watch it. I think it's the best show I've ever seen, tied with "Lost" of course. "Lost" is crazy too. EVERYTHING'S CRAZY! Do you know what else? I bought hot dogs today that say "no preservatives" on the package. Isn't false advertising illegal? Crazy.

Well, I've rambled on long enough! I love you all, you crazy tomatoes, you!

--Jam

Attention! No tomatoes were harmed in the production of this blog. A newfie's brain is paradise lost, and his fingers hurt, but that's it. Crazy!