Poor Boy

Hey sexy lady, out on the floor. Something something something.. la la laaa la.

How are you fancy folks today? This is the third day in a row that the warm weather is here and I am lovin' it, in true McDonald's fashion. Thank Jebus for the weather though, because this lack of money business is not all it's cracked up to be.

Sure, from the outside, you see "lack of spending" and "minimalizing" and "losing weight due to lack of food", but don't be fooled! It's actually quite painful to go through a Starbucks withdrawal! I want a Booster Juice. See, I have extreme spending habits. I'm aware of this. I just wish I had been more aware of my bank loan so I could have slowed down on the Orange Mochas. (Holy Jebus, those things are addictive!)

I just don't get why the fark I can't find a job? I mean, I use words like "fark" and "Jebus". What more do they want? I'm going out again today to sell my soul to a call centre, but with my luck, even they won't be hiring. I may have to break down and become a McSlave or a Burger King. I think if I did, my money would feel greasy, and I could never use greasy money to buy Starbucks. That's just wrong. They don't want money born out of grease.

At least I look pretty great today. My hair's getting so long. I almost want to cut it out of habit, but thankfully, I have no money, so it'll just have to keep on growin'. Take that, subconscious fear! Take that! Yeah, I thought so.

Ooh, big news! In the fall, my friend Lilly and I are going to be getting our own radio show! *insert screaming audience here* We're gonna go to the university radio station, who are apparently always looking for volunteers, and demanding our own show. I hope it works. We wanna do a talk show with music as well as we have very different musical tastes. It will be the greatest thing since ever.

Speaking of tastes, it has come to my attention that no one knows how to spell "tasty". There is no such word as "tastey". That's a big lame word. Stop it.

--Tasty Jam