Happy Chocolate Day

Well, it is offically that wonderful day of the year. The day when happy couples rejoice in regards to their undying affection for one another as they have far too much sex.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I'm speaking of St. Valentine's Day. The day originated in ancient Rome in response to February 15th, the day of Lupercalia. This day, unlike our modern love day, was a day when all young men would draw women's names from a lottery and would get to spend an entire year with that woman as his sexual companion.

The pope of the time was not thrilled with Lupercalia, and had it changed to honour Valentine. The men and women now both drew from a lottery in order to pick a saint in which to model their lives after. (way more boring, I know) Somehow, that day transformed into our modern St. Valentine's Day.

I was talking to Craig yesterday about the fact that I have always been single on Valentine's Day. It's a depressing mess of a day, and I don't enjoy it to say the least. However, he pointed out that if I had a boyfriend, I probably wouldn't care either way, which is very true.

But since I am very single, I am changing February the 14th to Chocolate Day. If Lupercalia can transform into modern St. Valentine's Day, then why can't it transform into a day of just eating chocolate? I'm helping single people everywhere, as well as Hershey, Nestle, and giving all those obese people out there a chance to gorge. I'm practically a saint!

--St. Jam