2.19.2009

West Coast Chat Nut

Bryce--: Hey how goes?
Bryce--: That's a pretty stellar profile you got there.
Bryce--: lol
Me: Hah, well thanks
Bryce--: Yah well we like a few of the same things.
Bryce--: Lost, eh?
Bryce--: Did you watch tonite?
Me: No, I'm a little behind. I have to catch up on this season.
Bryce--: OMG. It's so crazy, but I won't give it away
Bryce--: So what brings you to the Vancouver room?
Me: Haha yeah, please don't.
Bryce--: :O
Me: Just wandering, avoiding schoolwork.
Bryce--: Meh, this city ain't worth it.
Me: lol and why's that?
Bryce--: I almost wanna go chat in the St. John's room.
Me: It's awful.
Bryce--: Well if I tell you, I'm gonna sound bitter.
Me: And it's 4am here.
Bryce--: But Vancouver is probably the shallowest, coldest city ever.
Me: Haha well I might be living in Vancouver in a year. Why is it so shallow?
Bryce--: Dunno.
Bryce--: Just is.
Bryce--: I moved here 12 years ago from Calgary.
Bryce--: I think of going back a lot.
Bryce--: Or somewhere.
Me: Ah. I've never been out West.
Bryce--: Well
Bryce--: We have nice weather
Bryce--: Beaches
Bryce--: blah blah
Me: Haha
Bryce--: Ug I'm sorry to be such a downer, but just got burned again by another fraud.
Bryce--: Let's change the subject
Bryce--: I see you are a cat person
Bryce--: I have 2
Me: Another fraud
Bryce--: Oh what does that mean
Me: Well, yeah, I'm curious what you mean.
Bryce--: What?
Me: By another fraud.
Bryce--: Oh that was a question?
Me: Haha yes.
Bryce--: Oh no, just some guy that I met online and was (seemingly) getting on with splendidly.
Bryce--: We were supposed to have a date on the weekend.
Bryce--: I made the mistake of mentioning another guy I met on the same site.
Bryce--: Now I'm on ignore and he's chasing that guy
Bryce--: But he was supposedly so different, so not like every gay guy.
Me: Ah..
Bryce--: He almost had me convinced.
Bryce--: But then he was.
Bryce--: No bit surprise really
Bryce--: They say what they need to in order to get what's appealing at that moment.
Me: I suppose. It seems kind of odd.
Bryce--: It's just exhausting really
Bryce--: You keep thinking "woo, found someone different"
Bryce--: But then nope.
Bryce--: lol
Bryce--: That's Vancouver.
Bryce--: Ug, I'm sorry, I don't want to disillusion you.
Bryce--: Seriously how about a new topic.
Me: Uh, lol.
Me: Haha well anyway, the guy sounds like a loser anyway, so I wouldn't stress over it.
Bryce--: Well I'm not.
Bryce--: But it's just it happens so often here, it kinda gets discouraging
Bryce--: But whatever.
Bryce--: You have cats then?
Me: Yeah, a white maine coon named Sheba.
Bryce--: Cats are so underrated.
Bryce--: I mean I like dogs, but please.
Bryce--: lol
Me: Yeah--I love them. I don't really get dog people, lol.
Bryce--: I got two boys...Velcro and Eddie
Bryce--: Dogs are nice, but so much work...and not nearly as smart no matter what anyone says
Bryce--: I had a great dog for a while till he passed.
Me: No, dogs are smart, but cats are smart and choose not to do things, I think.
Bryce--: But when he got stuck in my room, his solution was to chew his way out. The cats just turn the fucking knob.
Bryce--: Seriously.
Bryce--: Well it's a handle knob, so they can
Bryce--: But the dog couldn't figure that out.
Bryce--: Cats reason. Dogs obey.
Me: Yeah exactly.
Me: Anyway bud, I have to get some sleep. Good luck with the city.
Bryce--: LOL
Bryce--: Wait a sec?
Bryce--: You are coming here?
Bryce--: For real?
Me: I might be if I do my MFA at UBC.
Bryce--: What's your name, bub?
Me: James.
Bryce--: My name's Rain.
Bryce--: Nice to meet you.
Me: Your name isn't Bryce?
Bryce--: No, I dunno why I picked that.
Bryce--: lol
Me: Yeah. ...
Bryce--: You got MSN, james?
Me: Yeah but I reserve that for people I know fairly well. Sorry.
Bryce--: OMG.
Bryce--: Yah you'll fit in well here.
Bryce--: You've got the bs down already.
Bryce--: I'm done. Just too tired to bother.
Bryce--: See ya.
Me: Haha, sorry. I just know that in a week we'll be down to awkward conversation, and I'm not moving to Vancouver until summer 2010.
Me: You need to calm down a little I think.
Bryce--: Well that's pessimistic and not surprising.
Bryce--: I suppose you realize if we are down to "awkward conversation" we can always delete each other then.
Bryce--: But if you are more comfortable with never even trying, then honestly I can't blame you.
Me: And I mean, you're mad at the city and all these guys, but your profile just makes you sound bitter. What guy wants to date a bitter, angry guy? I just don't really get it.
Bryce--: My level of effort is nearing zero as well.
Bryce--: Ah yes, don't miss an opportunity to insult me.
Bryce--: lol
Me: I'm not insulting you. You have put that into your profile.
Bryce--: I think it makes me sound realisitc and honest.
Me: Okay.
Bryce--: You are coming into it with rose colour glasses.
Me: I do have those glasses, yes.
Bryce--: I had them once.
Bryce--: I think I left them in Calgary.
Bryce--: But hey man, I don't want to spoil your very temporary party.
Bryce--: Enjoy.
Me: Well maybe you should go get them, lol.
Me: My temporary party? You're my temporary party?
Bryce--: Aw, if only it were that easy.
Bryce--: No
Bryce--: I'm not.
Bryce--: Vancouver is.
Me: Ah.
Bryce--: Haha.
Bryce--: One of two things will happen next.
Bryce--: Either you will see what I mean in 5 years or so. Or you'll adapt to this and beocome one of them.
Bryce--: Most people go for option 2.
Me: You are ridiculous.
Bryce--: I don't care for option 2.
Bryce--: Yah yah.
Bryce--: Ok
Me: Night night. Cheer up.
Bryce--: I'm wrong. I don't know what I'm talking about. lol
Me: Yes, everyone your age is either jaded or a bitch.
Bryce--: I can already see you are an option 2 guy.
Bryce--: G'nite.
Me: Night!
Bryce--: And thanks for another insult.
Me: You're welcome.
Bryce--: Warming up already
Me: Bye.

Liz, you're right. I should find a new hobby.

--Jam

2.18.2009

Fish Nut

Due to some probing by a friend, I've joined the ranks of Plenty of Fish, an interestingly low-budget dating site with copious amounts of idiots. There are a few gems mixed in, but not many around here, sad to say.

Anyway, it has this ridiculous chat feature that sends a window, accompanied by the sound of an accordion being sat on, that allows the other person to know you got the message and are there. Thus, you feel compelled to answer even if you don't want to.

A lovely man, 30, smoker, wants his first date to be at "Timmys" and wants to be "diskreet", messaged me today, and here is our conversation:

(I'm thatjam, if you couldn't figure that out.)

richard102: hi
richard102: hello
richard102: im newfie also
thatjam: I'm from Ontario originally so I'm actually not a newfie. I'm working on some stuff and am not interested. Have a good day!
richard102: whatever dude
richard102: LOSER
thatjam: lol wow.
richard102: yup
thatjam: So would you have rather I had not answered? I'm not interested in a smoker or someone who wants to be "diskreet" or someone who wants to start off at "Timmys". I wasn't impolite. What would you have liked me to have said, exactly?
richard102: thats ur choice what u do
richard102: im in toornto and ur in newfie so whats diff would it make!
thatjam: It doesn't. It's your choice to call someone a loser for being polite and honest. I just don't understand why you wouldn't say bye or close the window or something. I don't get why you'd be rude for no reason.
richard102: who cares
richard102: this is me
thatjam: Boy, well then I sure am sorry I passed you up. Good luck with dating.
richard102: u know newfies no holding back
richard102: u didnt interest me anyways
richard102: just was goin to chat before i go to work
thatjam: Newfies are polite and considerate. I don't know what you're talking about "no holding back". That's bull. Most of them that I've met are extremely nice.
richard102: i am in a 4 yr relationship
richard102: so am i when i want to b
thatjam: Oh good, so I'm glad your profile says dating.
richard102: exactly
richard102: alittle fun on the side
richard102: mm
thatjam: Right. Anyway have fun with that.
richard102: my bf is in bed sleep
richard102: i always do
thatjam: Thank goodness! Kay I'm leaving now. I just wanted to know why you were an ass and I got my answer. Ciao.
richard102: ciao 2 u 2
richard102: by the way my bf is spanish
thatjam: ...what does that have to do with anything?
richard102: nothing
richard102: u said ciao
richard102: anyways u have urself a wonderful day!
thatjam: Bye bye.
richard102: i better head off for work before im late
richard102: nnice talking to u
richard102: later

Seriously.

--Jam

2.03.2009

Pass the Nuts

Just a nut to fill your day. I'm totally developing an allergy to these ones. Enjoy!

boyseattle1269: hi
Me: Hey, how's it going?
boyseattle1269: good u
Me: Not bad thanks.
boyseattle1269: u single
Me: I believe my profile says I am, yep.
boyseattle1269: u want a ltr
Me: Hahaha uh, I do, in theory, but I don't know you.
(Then he stopped talking. SO weird. Oh, and an "ltr" is long-term relationship. Yes, I always just ask random people if they would like a long-term relationship. Totally normal.)

Also, I bitched out this guy in the "love and relationships" room (the things I do when I have insomnia just to see the whackjobs) because he was being a tard. I said "Who died and made you overlord of this realm?" to which he responded "Maybe you should." I then said "Oh, so I'm overlord now? Good. Then you're banished." and he left! Then all the people were happy and we had a running joke for a good hour about me being overlord and them being my vassals. I had to step down though because it was really boring in there. What a boring kingdom.

--Jam

PS: I'm still alive. Life is ridiculously busy, so I'm just trying to get through everything with all of my brain still intact. Blog will come. Give 'er time.