The Long Haul

Afternoon, you crazy kids.

It's 3:30pm and I could totally still sleep for another hour, but alas, I forced myself to get up. My life is so difficult.

I talked to the appeals lady yesterday and it turns out she doesn't decide, she just sort of acts as my lawyer when I go in front of the appeals committee in approximately a month. I have to produce documentation and plead my case and get put in a minimum security facility for 5-10 years. She doesn't think my shot looks that great, but I have to try anyways.

I can't believe it's going to take a month. Brock really needs to get their act together when it comes to these proceedings because they're playing with my life here. I can't organize my future until I know exactly what my future is. In order to make it go faster, I have to get a copy of my loan, which means talking to my grandpa and telling him what's going on (I think I'd rather die), and getting my T4's from 2003-2004 to prove that I was working. It's going to be such a long process and frankly I don't even know if I'm up for it. I'm going to try, but the stress is already making me ill; I can't imagine what I'll feel like a month down the road.

And to top that off, I still have no job, a boyfriend I never see, and a breaking DDR pad. *super duper sigh*

--Jam

Hero of the Day: Heather, for understanding in the best way.

Movies, Moving In, Moving On

Yes I'm aware it's 5:18am. No more outta you.

I can't sleep at all... just today I said to Dan that I never get insomnia and that people who do are weird and broken. Damnit.

Movies
So I decided since I love movies so much to keep a running tab of my faves of the moment, as well as movies I really need to see.

Now on your left, ladies and gentlemen, you will see a brand new section in the sidebar called "Movie Reel". And on your right, a lion eating a walrus.

Also in movies, Dustin and I are making a short film! *screams like a school girl* I think it's gonna be kind of artsy, but it'll be good. Scout's honour. It'll be good for me to get back into film making and all that, and good for Dustin to do a film that's not like others he's made. And it's good for you because you're gonna love it, and then good for me cause from you loving it, I get an ego boost. Sweet.

Moving In
So tomorrow (err, wait. I guess today..) Craig is moving in! He's subletting Heather's room for July and possibly August and it's gonna be so fun! We're gonna stay up late and do each other's hair and.. wait, that's the Babysitter Twins.

Seriously though, it's gonna be nice to have him around. I'm sure he gets bored with his current roomies (I mean, they have to be boring in comparison to me).

He just better not be a slob or.. *shakes fist*.

Moving On
Also, this morning I have a meeting with some lady from Brock who's basically going to decide my fate (oh boy oh boy!). I think she decides which appeals go through and which do not. Although mine already failed due to no medical reason (maybe I can make up a disease.. Count Choculitis?), I'm still gonna go in there and be all dramatic and such.

"But I already picked my courses! It took so much effort!"
"I have no family to go home to! They replaced me with a dog!"
"This is because I'm gay, isn't it? That's discrimination! I'll sue!"

..etcetera, etcetera.

However, if I don't get in (garr..), then I guess I'm ready to move on. The last couple months have been really tough, thinking about all my options and what "could" happen, but it's finally coming to some sort of a close and it's almost a relief. I mean my options are clear now and I just need to make whatever-needs-to-happen happen. Capisce? (kah-peesh)

Well, dat's all for now. OH! Before I forget, in my insomniac boredom, I kept doing the "next blog" thing and found Lili, a Hawaiian beauty who seems to lead an interesting life. Although I guess she could be making it all up and getting those wedding pictures doctored. In any case, she's also been added to the sidebar. Enjoy!

--Late Night Jam

PS - I stole Count Choculitis from the show "The Office". I'm a big fraud. *hides in the corner*

No walruses were harmed in the production of this entry. I drank some koolaid and sneezed twice, but that's it.

Psychopath

So I've been playing a puzzle game lately called Psychopath and I'm sooo addicted!



Basically you have to move that little black box with the disc thing in it onto the black and white box in the least number of moves possible. The pink boxes get in the way and the black ones don't move... it's very infectious, and a lot more difficult than it seems.

Anyways, I was getting into it and have played it for a li'l while, and just when I was getting really good, it says there are no more levels at this point in time! I beat ALL the levels! Only six people have done that in the entire world! Omigosh, I'm amazing!



Damn I'm so great. If you've ever wondered why I'm so egotistical (you shouldn't be wondering that anyways), then now you know.

--Jam the Puzzle Master

Thriller

Last post of the day, I swear.

In my doing nothingness, I found Sound-O-Vision (which I added to the side bar) and have posted a crazy little short video for your enjoyment. Enjoy!



--Jam

Format

Why is my blog all squished together? Does anyone else see that? Huh? Huh? Yeah I thought so. All the lines are too close to one another. Stupid vertical..ness.

Stupid blog.

--Jam

Ulcerific

Hey Hey.

So I don't even know what to write. I was going to another post about how life smells and all that jazz, but I don't really have the energy. I think I have a stomach ulcer though, so that's fun. Been vomming all day. Mmmmm, vom!

Dan comes home tomorrow-ish. I can't wait to see him. I feel like such a love-sick puppydog (even though I'd rather be a kittycat.. let's change the analogy), but I just need a whole bunch of cheering up and I have a feeling he's just the person to do that.

My appeal to go back into school failed. No medical reason. My last effort is to go in and actually physically talk to someone on Monday or Tuesday and try to beg or plead or something. I need to stay at Brock. When I try to think of what I would do if I couldn't go back to Brock or if I had to leave Summers Castle, I feel sick and start to bawl (ball?) my eyes out (what a stupid saying).

I've been doing a lot of crying lately.. well, as much crying as I can do. Moskalyk's and McDonald's don't cry at anything, so it's almost hard for me to cry. But in dire times like this, times where I'm really at my lowest, it's hard not to. I mean my mom treats me like a dumbass, my dad treats me like a dumbass and doesn't speak to me, most of my friends are walking on eggshells around me now that all this has happened, and some are being so ridiculous I could scream.

I can feel myself getting angrier and less like me, and I hate it. I hate what's happening and I hate that I have no control.. and I'm terrified of what will happen if I don't get it back.

--Ulcerific Jam

A Quiz of Jam

A li'l quiz thang I stole from Amykins. Mwa ha.

GENERIC TEENAGER STEREOTYPE

Do you drink [alcohol]?:Do fish have gills and uckly faces?
Do you party a lot?:Is Elton John hot? No.
How often do you use the word like in an average hour?:Eighten Hundred Twenty-five times.
Do you skip classes?:Maybe.
How often?:Maybe.
Do you have casual sex?:Last time I checked I wasn't icky.
Protected?:I suppose if I did.
Do you steal?:Only sunrays from the sun! Take that, you big fireball!
Do you wear inappropriate clothing?:I have a shirt that says "Stop pretending you don't want me"! I'm such a rebel!
Do you drool over celebrities?:I'm sorry, what was the question? I was too busy fantacising my life living with Josh Hartnett and Seann William Scott.
Do you watch a lot of TV?:Only ma storays.
Do you ever watch the News?:Is Air Farce the News?
Do you even care about world issues?:If you paid me.
Do you read books often?:Sometimes.
Are you failing a lot of your classes?:Sometimes.
Do you spend most of your time with your friends?:Them or air.
Do you smoke cigarettes?:You smell.
Do you hang out a lot in malls, or at Seven Elevens?:The mall is better than the quarry and the pit combined!
Do you curse a lot?:Only when you're being a jerk. Like, remember the time I put that curse on you where you had a bird stuck to your arm! Haaa, oh the old days.
Is the ocean blue?:Apparantly.
Are you blue?:Apparantly.
Are you desperate to fit in?:Apparantly.
Are you intelligent?:Definitely.

THE GOTH STEREOTYPE

Black lipstick?:Ick.
Black eyeliner?:Ilk.
Black eyeshadow?:Bleck.
Black trenchcoat?:Flack.
Black boots?:Chunk.
Black fishnets?:Floo.
Black nail polish?:Achoo.
Cigarettes?:Clunk.
Heavy metal music?:...all these questions are poo. Ask me if I'm sexy or have good fashion sense.
Marilyn Manson?:Yes. He is a person.
Kittie?:I love kitties.
Cradle of Filth?:Basonette of Mud?
Constant frown and perpetual angst?:For the last time, I hate Simple Plan!
Are you an intellectual?:How is the goth stereotype that they're intellectuals? That's stupid. You're stupid.
An atheist?:You have to beeelieeeve!
Horrible home life?:True.
Hopelessly depressed?:False.
Suffering with suicidal idealations?:Umm.. also false?
Self-mutilation?:Aaaand very false.

THE PUNK STEREOTYPE

Plaid?:Ew.
Big black boots?:You asked me this "question" before. I recall "chunk".
Mohawk?:Only the faux variety.
Excessive piercings? [Especially facial]:Ew.
Loud, confident and opinionated?:I'M SO GREAT. YOU'RE A POO.
Wild hair colors?:I like my normal hair.
NOFX?:CATS?
Rancid?:No, I smell like hot man.
Well versed on political scandals and outrages?:Not really.

THE JOCK STEREOTYPE

What's your IQ?:Genius to High Genius (I'm so wonderful. I love me.)
Do you watch a lot of sports?:Tennis, baby!
Play a lot of sports?:Tennis AND badminton, baby!
Talk a lot about sports?:No one listens lol.
Do you do anything, really, but think about sports?:Umm.. sometimes I breathe. And eat. But only on occasion.
Are you arrogant?:I'm perfect.
Are you a male or female whore?:Well, first of all, I'm male, I think. So yes, but no to the other part.
Are you homophobic?:Ah! Oh, sorry, I look at my arm. AH! Oh, that's just my other arm. AH! AH! Boy I'm scary!
Do you tease other people a lot because you want to seem confident?: You stink.
Boobs: Zero.
Parties: More than zero.
Dropping out of high school and flipping burgers:Pffft. It's so uncool to drop out of highschool. All the cool kids are dropping out of uni.

THIS OR THAT

Originality or Acceptance?:Love me!
Independence or Companionship?:Either or.
Stability or Freedom?:All of the above.
Personal or Interpersonal?:Inter.
Introvert or Extrovert?:Extro.
Popularity or Isolation?:Popu.
Unique or Loved?:I love my uniqueness. You smell.
Understood or Individual?:I'm so misunderstood!! What do you mean you don't like Sonique?
You or Them?: Me, baby. BAAAABY!
Boyfriend/girlfriend:Tee hee, yes.
Crush:I guess, if you can have a crush on your own bf.
Do you love anyone right now:*shrug*
Have you ever been in love:Not really.
Ever really cared for someone in that way:Kay, you JUST asked me have I ever been... seems like the same question, dorkus. Yeah quiz, you heard me.
How many hearts have you broken:Twenty.
Do you go more by looks or personality:Looks, then personality. It's natural.
Ever kiss a friend:Well, there was this one passionate soap opera kiss at my birthday party.
Are you still friends:Of course. With benefits! *wink* Aaaaah ha, I'm so funny.
Do you smoke:Didn't you already ask me this, too? You're a moron.
Weed:Vom?
Prefer beer or liquor:Mmmm.. liquor.

WOULD YOU EVER

Bungee jump:Totally.
Skydive:I'd love to!
Swim with dolphins:Um no.
Scuba dive:Haha, no.
Go rock climbing:Surely.
Change your religion:Re..li..gion?
Turn your back on your friends for personal gain:I doubt it.
Steal a friend's boyfriend/girlfriend:I also doubt that. Unless it was Mr. Hartnett.
Lie to the police:Only if he asked me if he smelled and he did. Then I'd say no.
Run from the police:Only to be on TV.
Walk up to a total stranger and kiss them:Only in the village.
Fight someone you used to be really close with:Sure.

HAVE YOU EVER

Flashed someone:For guys to flash, it takes too much effort. All that unzipping and.. so, no.
Told the person you liked how you felt:Yeah, if I'm in a mushy mood.
Gotten really REALLY wasted:Of course! Who hasn't? *Those of you who haven't, you shush.*
Skateboarded:Hahahaha. Oh, that was a good one.
Been to a concert:Jason McCoy! Holla!
Been to another country:Just America. Oh, and France, too!
Talked back to an adult:HAHAHA! WHAT? LOL HA! Tee hee, oh boy that's a good one! "No you shut up, gramps! Foo!" HAAA!
Given money to some homeless person:Falso.

THE LAST THING

You drank:Beer, made of roots!
The last place you went:The moon. I mean mall.
Last thing you bought:The moon. I mean Koolaid.
Last person you saw:CHRISSY! Well, actually Athena. But I see her all the time. She's like part of the house.
Last person you hugged:Lindsay! You ma baaaybah!
Last song you heard:Lemmings on the Run by E-Rotic is on right now.

YES OR NO

Are you straight:I stand up straight sometimes.
Are you short:Shut up.
Do you own a hot pink shirt:Pink is SO 2004.
Do you like Marilyn Manson:Did he sponsor this quiz along with cigarette companies or something?
Did you ever touch someone else's no-no spot:*gasp* I would never touch someone's ankle! You're a perv!
Do you shop at Hot Topic:Who or what is Hot Topic? I guess no.
Do you remember your dreams:Too often.
Can people read you like a book:Not normally.
Do you talk alot:My jaw gets sore sometimes.
Can you drive:Go Karts, yes.
Are you an only child:Once upon a time I was. Back in the day.

This quiz needs a better ending.

Number of insults to the reader or the Sun or the general anythingness:15.
Number of compliments to self:9.
Time it took to fill this damn thing out:1:02

THE END!

--Jam the Quizmaster

Be Impressed

Congratulations!

..ya I dunno.

So in the past couple years I've met some people who have this opinion on society. I find it's like a trend that people, intellectuals no doubt, are "unimpressed" by other people. They look down upon the general public's intelligence, their way-of-life, their ambitions (or lack there of), etc. It borders on, if not completely is, a superiority complex.

First of all, I'd like to say I can definitely relate. I mean I consider myself to be a brilliant and machiavellian man. I see the stupidity, the ignorance, and the unimpressive traits that a lot of people have. That being said, I am utterly amazed at society. I'm amazed that someone designed this computer. I'm amazed that humans walk and talk (and go to Brock.. aaaah ha, I'm so funny). I'm amazed that I have the ability to make a "bad" joke, meaning humans can differentiate something as simple as one joke from another.

Humans are incredible! I think we're so far above all other species, in terms of technology and adaptation, that we don't stop to think how really fascinating the human race actually is. The "dumbest" person I can think of I still revere as remarkable. I use my abilities that I was given to embark on recovering answers to the why's: "Why did he say that?", "Why does he choose to do that?", etc.

This superiority complex that my friends seem to have really needs to stop. What good is it to look down upon others, to eliminate any possible interaction with them? To automatically judge is to rid yourself of a more open, less naive mind. Judging is not a bad thing; it's merely something that can only be done with the proper amount of fact (in my opinion, of course).

Anyway, the point to my li'l rant is that if you allow people to show you who they are and why they're interesting, without first judging them as unimpressive or the like, I think it will lead to a better outlook on life because of the surprises you'll find in each and every person.

--Positive Jam

The 5th Avacado Club

The Rant From the Bottom

I can't believe this is how I turned out. If I had thought three years ago, five years ago, ten years ago that I was to live out five years at Brock, the first two (or more) ignoring the fact I was failing, where I have no money and essentially no life, I would have jumped in front of a truck before any of it could have started. I'm more depressed now than I ever have been in my entire life. I have less control over my life now than I ever have before.

The fact I can't find a job is frustrating beyond comprehension. I have more qualifications and experience and wisdom now than I ever did before. However before I did not have trouble finding a job. Infact, I actually had to turn down a job once because I was getting jobs so easily. So what happened? I've had three unsuccessful interviews. If that can't make someone upset, I don't know what can.

And even through the job woes, then there's school. I'm apparantly on "academic suspension" this coming year, which means I can't take any courses. It's my own fault, of course, but it's annoying at best. I appealed it, hoping they would give me a second chance, but they're taking their sweet time with it, that's for sure. I mean I would love to go back to school, but at this point in time, I would really rather just know what's going on, what I am to look forward to, and how to plan accordingly. This feeling of lasting wonder and constant pondering over "what will I do" is driving me mad and I seem to have a permanent headache. Not exactly fun times.

My mom said that I should move back home (even though at Christmas she said I couldn't come back). I went home for a couple days to see if I could handle it, amongst other things, and I can't. My mom and I were fighting, she gave my room to the new dog (yeah, ouch), the dogs have made my Sheba hate everything, including me, and overall, it's just not possible. To be quite frank, I would rather be in a coma than move back there. Anyone know how to induce a coma?

So I really can't see how things could get much worse. I mean I'm sure they could, so I shouldn't jinx it, but this is the worst my life has ever been. I sound so pathetic talking like this, but it's the honest-to-"God" truth.

Every now and then someone comes to me with a problem. A little glimpse into a part of his/her life that isn't perfect. I want you, you who are reading this and who are lamenting for my cause, to think twice about your problem before you think it's a catastrophe. In my opinion, most of the problems we face now seem so insignificant. I once heard on Oprah that if you're facing a difficulty, think of how you'll feel about it six months from now, or one year from now. Most things won't even be on your mind. Most things will have gone away, to leave room for the new drama, which will also disappear in half-a-year. The dilemma with my problems is that they aren't insignificant. I have no family; that's not going away in one year. I have money troubles; the effects will still be present in a year. I may be kicked out of school; definitely not gone in a year.

So, where do I go from here? Some people have told me that "everything happens for a reason". I'm sorry, but that's a load of monkey poop. Smelly, week-old monkey poop. You control your own life, but that scares me. In order to be where I am now, in this state, I'd have to have lost control. This is the time when most people bring in that wonderful word: fate.

Fate is a concept many people believe in to excuse themselves from the constant woes of life. The get out of jail free card. However I refuse to live my life that way; relying on an endless cycle of nothingness to guide me, telling me that everything will be okay because it happens for a reason. That is true in a sense. Everything does happen for a reason: to make everything something. Without reason, something would be nothing. But to say that the reason comes before the something is ridiculous, and is nothing relevant in my mind full of something.

So all-in-all, I'm angry. I'm angry at my family for abandoning me. I'm angry at some friends for not listening. I'm angry my boyfriend and I have hardly gotten to know each other because he's now on vacation, and will be for another week. I'm angry I can't tell my family about the boyfriend I have hardly gotten to know. I'm angry that Sheba is angry. I'm angry that my mom would buy two dogs and make Sheba angry. I'm angry my mom gave away my room to a dog. I'm angry at myself for not trying as hard as I could in my courses. I'm angry I can't find a job. I'm angry at all the companies who won't give me a job. I'm angry that I'm so angry at so many people.

I'm most angry at fate. I'm angry that people believe in it, that they think it will solve their problems, and that they think that I should become fateful. I'm angry that if fate does exist, if it controls my movements and thoughts and successes and failures, why is it being so cruel? Why would it throw me to the bottom, to make this rant and to wallow in my self-pity?

So now, when you think of commenting or talking to me, remember how upset, disgusted, annoyed, and angry I really am. Think of your problems and put them into perspective so I don't have to put them there for you. I have enough to perceive as it is.

--Jam, from the bottom

Kink

Hey Low!

(Hahahahaha it's like I'm saying Hello, but not! Aaaaaah I'm so funny!)

Well I went back to Brantford for a couple days to get a guarantor for my passport and just get away from the Thorold house for a while. Wow that was a bad idea. I mean it was great to see some people (mainly my Shmoop), but I got hardly any sleep because my room was given away to the new puppy Ellie, so I slept on the couch.

Now I don't know much about puppies, but are they supposed to whine for TWO HOURS? I'd be sleeping for a couple hours and then my wonderful step-father would leave for work, put the dog in its, oh sorry MY room, and then it would whine for literally, no joking, two entire hours. AHHHHH I hate dogs so much! So now I have a kink in my neck, I think I'm catching a cold, and I have determined that there is no way in hell I can ever... EVER move back home. Ever.

In other news.. wait, there is no other news. No bf: Dan is still in BC.. or somewhere like that. No job. No money. No excitement.

No more to say.

--Jam

Alongly the Lines of Articulation

Okay, so get this.

I'm in gay.com, just relaxing after my semi-long day at the mall and in the heat, and I see a picture of a guy and he has a little tattoo near his belly button. I recognize it as the swimming woman in The English Patient (the painted figure that Katharine recreates). So I ask him and sure enough, it is.So I'm like wow, this guy is one cool dude to have that as a tattoo!

I ask him, "where you from?".

He says "did you read my chat bioline", which I had, and it said something along the lines of 'I need an articulate pig' or something strange like that.

So I respond "Yeah, but you wanting an articulate pig isn't helping me know where you're from."

He replies, "'Where you from' isn't very articulate." Oh, gee, I'm sorry! I'm a terrible person for leaving out one word! My name's not James McDonald. It's James Hitler or James Stalin or James Bin Laden. My bad. If I had said 'Where are you from?' instead, I'm sure that this pompous jackass would have been nicer. I dumb down language when I'm in gay.com because, let's be honest, there aren't the brightest bulbs in that chat room.

So I read his profile, and amidst the grammatical and spelling errors (which don't seem very articulate to me), he has the word alongly.

Now boys and girls, who can tell me what alongly means? What? No one? Oh, is that because it doesn't exist? Oh, poor class. F--.

So I tell him that he has the word alongly in his profile. He gets defensive and says he doesn't. I copy & paste. He says "Oh, thanks for that. However, alongly was not intentional. Where you from was."

Okay, buddy. Someone needs to come down off their pedestal. Come on. I'll give you a treat! Thaaat's a good boy!

I'm a freaking english major! I hate it when people make errors in text (ask Leanne). So who the hell does this arrogant guy think he is? Does he think that for some odd reason, because he can pinpoint grammatical errors (but also make them himself in his profile, heaven forbid), that he is some martyr who shall one day save the human race? Because if he's building an arc, I ain't gettin' on.

Screw that boat. I'll buy a lifejacket.

--Articulate Jam

The Weekend of Chrissy and the Twenteendred Drinks

Boo!

Haaaa, I scared you! Pfffft, who gets scared of people yelling "boo" in text? What a loser!

...just kidding! Don't leave!

So I had a fun weekend. Went out for Natalie's bday Saturday night and met some wonderful lay-dees! Drank about twenteendred drinks (in that I have NO idea how many I drank).. had a baaad hangover today, but it was still SUCH a fun night! Chrissy was my date and her and I got reasonably trashed. What a pair! Then I stayed at her place that night to go to a Niagara Pride picnic today. Her apartment was SO hot and I nearly melted! No joke! Melted! The picnic was very boring, and I was very hungover, so it wasn't a lot of fun. But it was nice to spend some time with Chrissy. Her and I should hang out more often because she's one cool chikcy! She's so cool, I don't even have to spell chicky correctly!

I have a job interview at 11:30 at Green Earth, so I should get my bum to sleep!

And that, as they say, is that.

--That Jam

My hero of the day: Chrissy! You rock, gurl! *but you talk in your sleep.. might wanna work on that*

Listen to: Santa Monica by Theory of a Deadman - OMG! SUCH AN AMAZING SONG! I sure know what I'm singin' in the shower tomorrow.

Also Listen to: One Thing by Amerie - never heard of her, never heard the song before today, love it love it love it *dies*.

Missing

I MISS STUFF!

*dies*

...well, I didn't really die, but WHOA! I miss people and stuff soooo much!

I miss Heidi! She needs to come back and make tea and play DDR! I've actually stopped playing DDR much at all because I have no one to play it with! *cries*

I miss Heather! She was my go-to gurl and my neighbour and now she's GONE! *cries more* I need her here to go and have Friends' dates and bitch about everything! Waaaah!

I miss Danny! I realize he only left for vacation this morning, but I haven't seen him since Monday and I miss his smirk! I even miss that he's a billion feet taller than me! *cries and dies.. but not really, again*

I miss Sheba! My pretty kitty, tormented by my mom's dogs that replaced me! I need to go hug her, and then run away before she eats my face! Awwww, my grumpy baby! *tear*

I miss school! Can you believe it? I actually miss school!?! I wanna just take courses and learn interesting things and have papers due! Boredom is worse than schoool! Blaaaarg! Graaaaagh! Maaaaaaaps!

Maps indeed.

--Sad Jammie-pie

Oh, oh! I forgot to tell you! I got a bag from the LCBO and it has four pouches for liquor so they don't hit each other and I love it!!! Woooo! *cheers up a li'l*... but I still miss my kitty! Graaaalrgh!

This Just In!

Hallo!

So just a quick update. As many of you know, I'm going through some pretty major crap right now. I'd rather not be asked about it, because it's kind of hard to express and explain, but when I have a definite resolution and answer, I'll write about it. For now, let's just say I'm a discontent Jam.

I had an interview today at Old Navy and it went super fabulouso! I think it would be so fun to work there because it's so relaxed and fun and yeah. Probably a lot of tedious work like folding and stuff, but I can handle that. I can handle n-e-than.

Since I had such good feedback about my Top 100 Songs of All Time, I'm going to do a Top 100 Movies! This one'll take me longer to do, but stay tuned for it in the upcoming posts. Same Jam time. Same Jam channel.

--Same Jam

Strawberry Kittens

Hi, you.

So another day, another no job. I'm gonna get going momentarily and hand out some resumes across from the Pen Centre, but before I do, I'll blog to you wonderful people.

Last night we had a wittle kitty follow us (Athena and I) home from the store. He was SO cute and we named him Tangerine, Tangy for short, and we gave him water. We eventually got the number off his tag and called his owner, who was very worried about him. Oh well, at least Ebert (that's his real name.. not as good as Tangy) has a good home. The lady was very nice and funny and tanned. Tangy deserves that.

I'm getting so annoyed that I don't have a job. I had a dream that I worked at Smart Set and my boss was Miss Atoll from that show RadioActive and she wanted me to make these displays about all the different employees. So I did her first and I used red bristol board and just stapled a bunch of her stuff to this board and she loved it and her title was "Scrolling is Power" and I put a little scrolling mouse arrow computer thingy up at the top and she gave me a raise.

Anyway, back to real life. I have an interview at Old Navy tomorrow, but other than that I seem to be stuck in this crazy limbo where I have no job and little money and aaaah. Maybe I'll just sell my body. Want an arm? Only $1500!

Well, into the shower I go. Bye Kittens.

--That Jam

Listen to: "Black Velveteen" by Lenny Kravitz. The line "Strawberry kittens" is from that song, therefore it's great. Obviously.

A Weekend To Remember

Well bonjourno, my people!

I had such a great weekend. So, you know what's coming! Let's go through my weekend *cheers*.

FRIDAY
I cleaned the house. Boy, was that fun! As much work as it was, it felt really good to get a lot of cleaning done around Summers Castle. It's not unknown that some people there do not clean, so for Athena and I to take charge and clean up the house felt really good and the house looks great. It better still look great when I get back tonight, or Jam is gonna open a can of whoopass!

Friday evening Dan showed up and we planned for a night "on the town". By on the town, I mean at the gay bar. Craig, Rob, Athena, Dan, and yours truly went out and had, what I consider to be, a really fun night. I'll admit I drank a little too much and paid for it on Saturday. But it was nice to have my friends meet the guy I'm dating and make sure they all mesh and all that jazz. That night I officially asked him out (is that what you call it?), so now I am no longer a single Jam. I'm a Jam with a hot Dan. It feels really great to have a guy who is truly interested in me, in the relationship, in himself, in his family, and who is an all-around good guy. I'm really lucky, what can I say? I hope it lasts, is what I can say :)

(Sorry.. went off on a tangeant.)

SATURDAY
Slept in with a "violent" sleeping Dan (he kicks, talks... oh man, I'll do a whole other post on it lol). We left for Hamilton at around 1:00 and were fairly on schedule. He had to get to his sister's place to move a pool (err something like that) and I had to get to Leanne's place to prepare for her birthday soiree. On the QEW, we were talking about how he noticed that the gas gauge was on empty and how he should get some gas. Within (and I'm not kidding) one minute, the empty light comes on and we run out. On the QEW. So we pull over and he calls some people and luckily his one friend comes by on the service road within about half an hour and gives us some gasoline. Thank GOD! lol.. so we stop by his friend's house to pick up some stuff and then he finally drops me off.

At Leanne's, her sister and I first went out and bought her cake and some booze. Then I had a nap (I was tired!). Her party started around eight o'clock and it went really well. Leanne had lots to drink and was uber hilarious! Can we say life of the paaaartay!?

Afterwards, I managed to convince my Danny to drive over to Leanne's and crash here for the night. It took a while, but I guess I'm convincing.

SUNDAY
This morning we woke up around 9am (he was supposed to be at his sister's house by 9) and left shortly after. Had a shower, had a nap, and now I'm here.

And that's it!

I'm not single anymorrre! Gotta wait 'til Wednesday for his visit, but that'll also be a great day!

**The moral of this long and involved story is to always fill up your vehicle with gasoline. Gasoline: better than air.**

--Story-telling Jam

Top 100 Songs of All Time

Well, the list is finally complete! It took me a while, and a lot of organizing and reorganizing, but I managed to complete a list that is accurate to my taste and that I don't think I forgot anything. *crosses fingers*


Songs that didn't make it, but almost did.

103. Jimmy Eat World: Pain
102. No Doubt: Hella Good
101. Audioslave: Like a Stone


100-71.
The first 30 songs of my list are songs that have affected my life, that I love to listen to, but that I could probably live without.

100. Soundgarden: Black Hole Sun

99. Heart: Alone **This song was re-introduced to me during Carrie Underwood's earth-shattering performance this season on American Idol. I love it!

98. Chicago: Cell Block Tango

97. The Goo Goo Dolls: Iris **I had a disgruntled fan telling me that this should be further up the list. Well, you know what? Go suck on an orange. The song is fantastic, but I'd much prefer to listen to 96 other songs.

96. Bryan Adams: Cloud Nine **My mom's favourite song.

95. Spice Girls: Viva Forever

94. Mark Wills: Back at One

93. Frou Frou: Must Be Dreaming **This is the first of two entries by Frou Frou on my Top 100. I think if I was to do the top 100 bands of all time, they would definitely be in the race for number one.

92. Joan Osborne: What if God were One of Us? **As a happy agnostic, I'm allowed to listen to religious music without people thinking I'm a Christian nut.

91. Simon Wilcox: Mommies and Daddies **Probably the most unknown song by all on my list, this song was big last summer. It was played and replayed in the office and I think I love it because it has sentimental attachments to the great people I worked with last summer.

90. Keane: Somewhere Only We Know

89. Nina: ROM-eo & Juli8 **The newest song on my list, I heard this song this past weekend and fell in love. Download it if you can!

88. Nelly Furtado: Try

87. Tina Turner: Private Dancer **I've loved this song my entire life!

86. Mazzy Star: Into Dust **Maybe the saddest song I've ever heard, this became popular by the first season of The OC. You'd know it as the scene when Ryan finds Marissa unconscious in Tijuana.

85. Sarah McLachlan: I Will Remember You

84. Everclear: Wonderful

83. Savage Garden: I Want You **How does he talk so fast in this song? Boy howdy!

82. Celine Dion: It's All Coming Back to Me Now **One of the first CD's I bought, the power and intensity of this song make me adore it. As a bonus, it was before she was singing about her baby and going off the deep end. No dangling that child off a balcony, Celine.

81. Smashing Pumpkins: Tonight, Tonight

80. Darude: Feel the Beat **Electronic music has always found a way into my heart and soul, and Darude is a great example of an artist who can make techno that appeals to everyone.

79. Tatu: Not Gonna Get Us

78. Switchfoot: On Fire

77. Madonna: Die Another Day **Yes, even Madonna made my list.

76. Macy Gray: I Try **If you can say when this came out you weren't humming it after you had heard it, you're broken.

75. Crazytown: Darkside **One of my guilty pleasures is that I love select songs by Crazytown (remember? the lead singer had star tattoos on his chest.).

74. Audioslave: Shadow on the Sun

73. Janet Jackson: Together Again **My friends and I used to sing this song and replay it over and over. Ahh, the good ol' days with Janet.

72. Lenny Kravitz: Black Velveteen

71. Alison Krauss: Ain True Love


70-41.
These songs I love even more. They vary in style and content, but all are amazing works of art.

70. Evanescence: Hello

69. Maroon 5: Harder to Breathe

68. Sarah McLachlan: Fallen **As one of the best artists of all time, Sarah McLachlan made my list three times, only done by herself and one other musical talent. Can you figure out who?

67. Daniel Bedingfield: If You're Not the One **Lindsay, it's our song!

66. Spice Girls: Goodbye

65. Eric Clapton: My Father's Eyes **After looking through my favourite songs, I came to the realization that I'm a much bigger Clapton fan than I first thought.

64. Keane: Everybody's Changing **Keane is new-ish in the last six months or so, but they've made a lasting impression on me.

63. Kelly Osborne: One Word

62. Dannii Minogue: And I Begin to Wonder

61. Sarah Slean: Day One

60. Daft Punk: One More Time **The song that brought back techno. I bow to thee, the daftest punk.

59. John Mayer: Clarity **Ooooooh... Ooooooh! (those are the lyrics, obviously.)

58. Sonique: Another World

57. Salt N Peppa" Push It **One of the best things to come out of the 80's was Push It. You know you love it!

56. S Club: Natural **I'm embarassed to say I like S Club, but come on! This is one DAMN good song! Right? Right? Right.

55. Rick Astley: Never Gonna Give You Up **THE best thing to come outta the 80's.

54. Marly: You Never Know

53. No Doubt: It's My Life **This list could not be complete without the sonderful stylings of Gwen and her crew.

52. Shania Twain: Gonna Getcha Good **As a huge Shania fan, it was hard to pick a best song. But this isn't it.

51. Jennifer Saunders: Holding Out for a Hero **Yes I realize she didn't do the first edition of this song. Yes I realize this is from the Shrek 2 Soundtrack. Yes I realize this is SO DAMN AWESOME!

50. Faith Hill: Where Are You, Christmas? **The first of two Xmas songs to make my list. Let's not disclude them. Poor, poor Xmas songs.

49. Seal: Kiss From a Rose

48. Outkast: Ghettomusick

47. Bjork: I've Seen It All "My friend made it for me."

46. Savage Garden: Last Christmas

45. Revenge (DDR): Tsugaru **DDR (Dance Dance Revolution for you uncultured folk) has been a huge part of my life for the past year. I couldn't disclude its music, which truly is great, on this list. After much deliberation, I chose the crazy Tsugaru by Revenge.

44. Aqua: Turn Back Time **In grade 11 English we had to play our favourite song for the class. I played this. Ah, how times change.

43. Basement Jaxx: Oh My Gosh! **This song infiltrated our house like a disease. I played the video about a million times, which I know Heather loved, and I couldn't love the video more. It would, without a doubt, win the best music video of all time.

42. Daniel Belanger: Dans un Spoutnik **I believe it's the only non-english song to make the list. That's okay. If you're in space on a sputnik, it dunna matta!

41. Sting: Desert Rose


40-11.
The next 30 songs make me drool and I could listen to them day or night, any day or night. The closer to #1, the more drool. (gross, eh?)

40. Smashmouth: Walking on the Sun **When I did this list years and years ago, this was number one.

39. Gwen Stefani: What U Waiting For?

38. Eagle Eye Cherry: Save Tonight

37. Kylie Minogue: Can't Get You Out of My Head The sexy bombshell from down under, Kylie definitely has what it takes to make the list. I hope she makes it through her breast cancer like a trooper and makes more music to satisfy my need for it.

36. Delerium: Truly

35. Nelly Furtado: Explode

34. Ratatat: Seventeen Years **If you're thinking to yourself, "What's a Ratatat?", you don't read my blog enough.

33. Annie Lennox: Walking on Broken Glass

32. Jann Arden: Sleepless **I could probably do an entire list just on my favourite Jann songs, but I'll limit myself to this and one other for now.

31. Jennifer Lopez: Play

30. Jann Arden: Love is the Only Soldier

29. Bond: Explosive **Songs that don't have words are sometimes forgotten in a list like this. However, make no mistake. Bond is freaking amazing! Explosive is exactly that; an explosive song that appeals to everyone. I guarantee.

28. Enya: Caribbean Blue

27. Hard in Tango: This is My DJ

26. Spice Girls: Holler **Hopefully you've realized by now that the Spice Girls are the other that made my list three times. Holler will always be one of my absolute favourite songs because it's so upbeat and fun! Right Natalie?

25. Emma Bunton: Maybe

24. Britney Spears: Toxic **Everyone wants this to be played at a club. Everyone loves the video. Britney, you're doing a damn fine job.

23. Shania Twain: Still the One **This song made the world love Shania, both as a country artist and also as a fantastic performer.

22. Joan Osborne: St. Teresa

21. Nina Gordon: Tonight and the Rest of My Life

20. Eiffel 65: Move Your Body **I went to France in 2000 and bought this single. It always reminds me of my great experiences, great music, and my need to travel in the future.

19. The Corrs: Breathless

18. Sarah McLachlan: Adia

17. Missy Elliot: Get Your Freak On **One of the only songs on the list that is hip-hop-ish. Missy always did it for me, and her unique style of music really is the reason she is successful. If you don't give her credit for what she's done, maybe you should?

16. Queens of the Stone Age: Go With the Flow

15. Endorphin: Love is a Dancefloor

14. Daft Punk: Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger **The highest ranked techno song on my list, HBFS is a fun and amazing bolero-like rendition that everyone should listen to.

13. Red Hot Chili Peppers: Otherside **Many people say this is the best song ever made.

12. Lara Fabian: The Dream Within

11. Iio: Rapture **I love this song so much that I'm making my house do a music video for it! Rock, rock on!


10-1.
My top ten are songs I adore with a passion and simply could not live without. I love singing to them, I love dancing to them, I love washing dishes to them, I love getting acid poured over me to them. They are just SO GOOD. The top five were so close that they could be easily rearranged, so you could call them all number one.

10. Sonique: It Feels So Good

9. George Michael: Careless Whisper **My absolute favourite song to do karaoke to!

8. Big Wreck: That Song

7. Laava: Wherever You Are **This song I loved on my own, until I realized that everyone else loves it too! If you don't love it already, you better download it and start the lovin', baby! It's also Steph and I's song!

6. Enigma: Gravity of Love **Even if you don't know this song, you know this song. It's been in so many movies and commercials because of it's epic quality.

5. The Rasmus: In The Shadows **Maybe the most contagious song you'll ever hear.

4. Frou Frou: Let Go **The song that sealed Garden State as a terrific movie. Let Go is a warm but upbeat song that makes you want to cry and go get a better job all at the same time.

3. Enya: May It Be **The Lord of the Rings trilogy was successful not only because of its filmatic qualities, but also because of its music. May It Be was the official song of the first movie and was even given an Oscar nod. In this Jam's opinion, it is the best slow song ever created. I'd love to make a music video to it someday.

2. Basement Jaxx: Good Luck **An empowering, disco-like song that you can't help but sing along to!

1. The Killers: Somebody Told Me **We finally made it to number one! I think if anyone listens to this song, they will love it! I've hardly met anyone who didn't enjoy it, and I don't believe them entirely. It combines electronica with rock with great vocals. The all-around best song ever!

Well thanks for reading my list! I know it was horribly long. Go get a snack. You deserve it.

--Jam the Music Man

Top Music

Allo Allo!

So in the past I've done the best movies of the year, and my favourite TV Shows of the year. I've put up songs to listen to now and then, but I'm going to finally do a music countdown. But not just of the year...

of all time!

*gasp*

Well, in this Jam's opinion of course. So you won't be finding any Elvis or Beatles on this list. Although some people may put them on this list, there's no way in flamey hell-land they're getting on my list.

So in the next couple days it'll be up! Yaaay!

--Musical Critic Man Jam

The Knight

Evening, you cool May flowers!

So tonight was interesting. I had a date with the guy I mentioned in earlier posts and needless to say, I was very nervous beforehand. But he finally arrived and we headed out.

My first impression of him was that he's so gorgeous. Not really model gorgeous, but more a subtle hotness. Whatever it was, it did it for me lol.

We went for dinner at a seafood restaurant in Port and walked along the pier. Then we headed back to my place where he briefly tried DDR and we watched The Red Violin. Around 11 he finally left, and then here I am to write this post.

What makes this date so amazing is that for a first date, it all felt so comfortable. So far, I really haven't found much that I can say I don't like about him. He seems to be interested in me as well, so all-in-all, I'm ecstatic I met him. He's coming down on Friday night and we're going to go out to Vous with Craig and Rob.

I can't wait to see how it goes.

**What an amazing way to end May. June is looking up!**

--Jam swoons