9.30.2005

The Ramblings of the New Shadforth

Howdy, Doodies!

Okay, NO ONE is answering me on MSN tonight! I've messaged like fifteen people! Is my msn broken? Do I have bad breath? Do I have a dead Joan Rivers on my face? Or a live one? What? Tell me!

Ugh, stupid people ignoring me.

Take this!

--Jam


...hahaha, just kidding! I have stuff to talk about.

First off, I love Fran Drescher and Jerry O'Connell. They were both on Ellen today and I think I had several aneurysms from laughing so hard. Fran said something that was so hilarious and so true. She was saying that she was going to go on a date with some guy and he had a Lamborgini. She said that there are only three reasons a guy would own one of those:

1. Nouveau Riche
2. Ladies' Man
3. A small "frmfrm"

LOL I don't know what a frmfrm is, but she said it SO FUNNILY. I want to be her. And then she laughs like she has a squirrel lodged in her throat, and that makes me laugh more. Ohhh boy, I gotsta find me a squirrel and choke on it so I can be half-as-great as she is.

So my party is in two days and I'm so excited! I have enough alcohol to kill a class of kindergarteners, my room is much cleaner because I don't want people to see what a slob I am, and it's just going to be SO great. SO SO SO GREAT! SO^infinity GREAT!

Mmm, Freddie Prinze Jr. is so hot.

Ick, I hate Harveys and now my tummy is grummy. Damn grummy tummy.

I'm meeting a guy tomorrow night. His name's Aiden and he's only 5'2 *tee hee, so cute!*. He seems normal-ish, but he's been telling me that pot saved his life, and has to tell me the story in person because it's apparantly "deep". I think it sounds apparantly "crazy" and "nutbary", but that's just me. He's Pagan, and I'll be honest and say I hardly know what that is. I know it deals with the Earth and nature and stuff *I think*, so I guess it can't be all bad.

Sunday is our second weekly Shadforth family dinner, and it's my turn to buy the wine. The four of us (the three Shadforth sisters, and me, the newest Shadforth lol), alternate on what to make/buy. One makes dessert, one makes an appetizer, one makes dinner, and one brings wine. I got the easy one to start, and I'm going to work my way up to the big stuff *gets nervous*. I bought Piat D'Or, because it's one of the best French Wines I've had, and I think everyone will really enjoy it. Next time around, in early November when it's my turn again, I may splurge on a vintage bottle so that I can impress everyone and get presents for my greatness. For now, French chardonnay is good enough for me.

I've been having so many dreams about becoming a Much VJ. I know that I probably won't get the job, and will be extremely disappointed when I don't, but it's nice to dream about. They need a geek on there, I'm tellin' ya. I'll play the geek card, I'll play the gay card, I'll play the short card, I'll play whatever damn card I need to, to get that position.

*whew* I just smelled an air-freshener up-close to see if it was still working, and oh ya, it's working. I feel dizzy now lol too.. much.. melon..

I'm going to be editing my rants soon and applying to the Hamilton Spectator to see if I can get a weekly column or something like that. I need to add something to my life that adds accomplishment. Otherwise I may throw myself off a building or lick an electrical socket.

What a way to go.

--Bzzzzzzt

--I mean, Jam

9.27.2005

My Life Story

**So Mel Brooks is apparantly directing the story of my life when I die. Odd, because I assume he'll be dead by then too.**

Your film will be 48% romantic, 56% comedy, 29% complex plot, and a $ 33 million budget.

You're a busy and hilarious kind of person, not terribly romantic, and you seem to fit in with everyone around you. Mel's filmography: The Producers, Blazing Saddles, Young Frankenstein, Spaceballs, High Anxiety, Dracula: Dead and Loving It, To Be or Not To Be. Your film will be hilarious, and probably have a few ascerbic digs at Nazi Germany -- Mel's signature. You should insist that he play your grandfather and that Carl Reiner play your other grandfather and that they do their 2,000 Year Old Man routine.

















My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 29% on action-romance
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 99% on humor
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 17% on complexity
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 56% on budget




Link: The Director Who Films Your Life Test written by bingomosquito on Ok Cupid

Much Too Cold

Morning!

Much
First off today, I have to tell you about my plans involving MuchMusic. I've always wanted to be a VJ, and I always wanted to enter the VJ search, but I always miss the deadline. This year, I caught it with months to spare, so I'm gonna go for it! I'm gonna make a kickass video, make it to the semis, and win the whole damn thing. I'm gonna do it and that's that lol.

I'm getting really excited for it because I really think I could do it. I have that type of personality that's kind of a jerk, obsessed with celebrity, loves music, and is really outgoing. Even if I don't a job at Much *which would be sad*, I'm realizing I want a job in the public eye, that is something similar to a Much VJ, because I'm so excited already and I've hardly started the process.

If anyone has any ideas for my video or any tips in general, be sure to post 'em, or you'll get beats.

Too Cold
I woke up absolutely freezing. I was going to go up and give Leanne a smack because I thought she had turned on the air again, but alas, it was Mother Nature who turned on the air *what a whore*. My little temperature gauge on my computer says eight degrees. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? It's not even October yet! I need summer back! Screw you, Mother Nature! And your little dog Winter too! GAH! BLAH! YARG!

Five days until the parrrrtay! Remember to BYOB, cause I'm only giving you punch and a shot *what do I look like, a bartender?* *tee hee, I love playing bartender!*

Well I suppose I should go get ready for "work".

--Jam the bartender

Coming soon: Writing ideas, plans for school, crazy guys, Freddie Prinze Jr. is hot!

9.25.2005

The Reunion of the Upstairs Crew

Well howdy, you devilish dawgs, you!

So on October 1st I'm having my big birthday bash and I'm uuuuuber excited! Five u's! That's how excited I am! I've sent out invitations and all that, got about 20 people coming, and it's gonna be so super fun! I've already tested shots and punch and I have to tell you people who were at my party last year, I actually made a shot this year that is better than the Mocha Mint! *gasp* I know! I'm going to leave it a secret, but trust me, you likey will. You likey will definitely.

I had invited everyone to stay over if they needed to, but it's looking like the only people staying over are... *cue overdramatic organ music* the Upstairs Crew! *cheers* The Upstairs Crew, for you sad uneducated people (so very sad), are Heather, Nat, and myself! We were upstairs in Summers Castle, so it makes sense. Anyways, it's gonna be so fun because it'll be like a big slumber party! YAY SLUMBER!

Anyways, now that my excitement for slumber has been vented, I should shower. I smell like a donkey's face. I'm going to Brantford for the afternoon to go visit my sister who I don't know well or think much of because it's her birthday. Then I'm going to visit Nana, then come back to Hammy, then go to Laura's for dinner, then come home and do laundry! Yaaaaay! What a day! No me likey will definitely.

--With Jam A Problem

9.23.2005

The Life of an Independent

Ola! (That's for Athena!)

So things are not running as smoothly as a baby's bottom like I had planned. No baby's bottom life for me.

First off, my job is failing miserably at being a good.. job. The job itself leaves something to be desired (any sort of stimulation), but that isn't even the main problem. When I got the job, they told me I'd be getting full-time hours. This week I've gotten about 15 hours. How am I supposed to live off of 15 hours a week? I need to pay bills and pay off my loan and go to Barbados! Stupid work...

Next, I haven't met a guy... at all! Where are they? I mean I know I'm slightly geeky looking (only slightly, right?), but I didn't think I'd make all the available guys dive in the sewers and behind bushes to avoid me! Msged the ex recently who lives literally up the street from me and he ignored me, as usual. Not sure what's up his bum bum, but it must be big, angry, and have spikes. Stupid men...

Finally, I'm always so bored! I need to meet friends around here or I'm seriously going to lose my mind! I mean thank goodness for Lisa and Leanne for being around, but they definitely aren't as energetic as Nat or Heather, so I need to meet someone that's high energy like me! LIKE MEEEEEE! *does a cartwheel.. but not really* Stupid boredom...

On the plus side, I set up my new li'l portable phone today and I'm absolutely in love with it. It's comfy and perty and was on sale! Little things make me happy.

Another plus is my Nana made almost a full recovery! She's healing all up and getting back to normal, so I'm going to go visit her this weekend and cheer her up. Plus I want Mr. D back, since I gave it to her for in the hospital.

Well I'm bored, so I'm going to bed. Sleep makes the days go by faster!

--Jam

Coming soon: My plans for skool and life *you don't wanna miss it!*

9.20.2005

Work Work

Mornin!

So I'm here at work, early as usual. Sometimes I feel like reading, other times I just groove to ma tunes, but today I didna feel like that. Didna feel like that at all.

I went to the 7-11 and bought some Orangina and talked to the nice 7-11 lady for about 5 minutes about my trip to France and my upcoming trip to Barbados, and all that fun stuff. I love it when people in a not-so-great job, like working at a convenience store, can be so friendly and cheerful and really enjoy life for what it's worth. I think she needs to give a little chat to most of the bus drivers around here lol.

So, hey Thorold peeps? Are you-all gonna be hangin' 'round this here weekend? I thought maybe I'd come down for a day or two for something to do, so lemme know!

Hrmm.. well I guess that's it. I smell soooo good cause I got new cologne by Kenneth Cole. I kinda wanna jump myself, but that would be awkward and most likely painful.

Well, off I go!

--Smelly Jam

9.18.2005

The Martini of All Martinis

Bonjourno.

Hahaha, I just glanced over at my dresser, and it looks like my monkey stuffie is humping my kitty beanie.

That is all.

HAHA! Kidding! I wouldn't just come online to post about my perverted stuffies.

So the Shadforth sistas and me went to Burlington last night to the BEST martini bar in history. The Martini House has the greatest ambience and perty music and Xmas lights 24-7 and omigosh, so great. Here is the recipe for the BEST martini you will ever have:

The Oatmeal Cookie Martini
Vodka
Baileys
Butter Schnapps
Crème de Cacao

We're not sure how much of each, but I assume one part of each. I really suggest you try it out if you have those ingredients or you don't know what new drink to try, because it is truly the best drink on Earth!

Speaking of music from my highschool era, I've been listening to some older songs lately and I love it! I'm becoming a fan of "oldies" (as in music from the late 90's, early 2000's). I'm gonna be one of those crazy parents that yells at their kids for listening to modern crap, and ranting about how the music of my generation is the best music of all. "You crazy kids! Get a job!" Oh boy, good times.

Lauryn Hill: Doo Wop
Lauryn Hill: Everything is Everything *Kickass song! Remember the cool video where the city was a record? SO COOL!*
Lenny Kravitz: Again

Also, listen to the newer song Kiss the Wall by Soul Decision. It's super duper.

Well, I'm off to have a shower, put on some new hot cologne, and go shopping for a red blanket and a garbage bin.

*gets up and rearranges the stuffed animals* Pervs.

--Jam Kisses the Wall

9.17.2005

The Weekend Laze

One question:

"Don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like me?"

You know you do, cause I'm hot. Right? Right.

Anywho, good afternoon/evening to all of you! I'm sitting here on this gorgeous day doing basically nothing. I was going to do a rant on misery and acting on impulse and all that fun hoo-hah, but I decided that I'm too lazy for hoo-hah today.

It's so annoying how I wait for the weekend to arrive, thinking of all the stuff I'll get done and how nice it will be to have a couple days for the Jam, and then it gets here, and I do nothing. I was going to visit Nana today, but she's getting better and is out of the hospital. Geez Nana, you could have stayed sick so that I could have something to do! Hahahah, kidding! I'm a nice person! Don't impale me with sharp things!

Gah, I don't even have much to say! lol baaaaah humbuggeroos. Oooh, I bought new hot cologne by Kenneth Cole yesterday. After trying about 15-20 on those little stupid white cards, I found my favourite bottled odour. Omigosh, it's like hot man in a bottle. OMIGOSH I SAY!

Speaking of omigosh, have you seen the trailer for Brokeback Mountain yet? OMIGOSH! O MI GOSH! You need to watch it and then drool like I do. Heath Ledger and cowboys and.. oh... my lol. Go watch now!

NOW!

--Go Now (It's so important that I'm not even going to put "Jam")

9.13.2005

Definitely In The Groove

Hey par-tay peeps! You know it, that's you!

So I went to Thorold this past weekend and had a kick-ass time! I have a sneaking suspicion that I'm going to be making quite a few trips there this year!

First off, I have to say that this game "In The Groove" is the best invention since air. The songs are so amazing, the dances for the songs, and... just.. ah! Go buy it NOW!

Secondly, 'twas Heather's birthday, so we all went out to Stella's and had an amaaaazing time! I'm not going to go into detail because I'm too lazy, but Heidi went into detail in her blog, so check that shizzat out!

Umm I guess that's it. *shrug* lol yay for blogs?

--Yay for Jam

9.09.2005

A Trip to the Homeworld

Good news everyone!

Yeah, just kidding. There's no news... except some great news!

No, just kidding. I'm just an idiot.. full of good news!

The good news is... there is no good news. Only that I'm coming to Thorold this weekend! (and the crowd goes wiiiiild!) I'm coming down today via Leannebus (I pay her gas money, I'm not a mean extortionist) around 6pm so someone better be at the house! I wanna DDR like I've never DDR'ed before!

It shall prove to be a grand weekend! Hmm, what should I get Heather? I think a terrific crazy-card is in order! CRAZY-CARD WHAAAT!? WOOOO! WAHHHH! MOOOOLK!

No, just kidding.

--Kidding Jam

9.08.2005

The Return of Jam's Blog

Hi everyone! Wow, I didn't think I was going to get angry fans commenting that I should update. I didn't know people cared! I'm just.. so.. choked up... *tear*. Hahahaa wooo! Anywho, I'm back. I've been super busy lately with about a million and one things, so I haven't had much time to post as of late. I'll try to sum up everything I wanna say in this short entry. By entry I mean post, and by short I mean extremely long.

Honey, I Think I Laughed Too Hard and Broke My Cranium
During my last full weekend at Summers Drive, Natalie had her friend Rebecca down for a night and I have to say, she is sooo much fun! We played DDR and board games and all that jazz and I have never, EVER laughed so hard in my entire life! Shave Wheel, Anne Geddes, Peanut Man Comes Outside, and so much more made it an incredible time! LOL It happened like three weeks ago and I'm laughing right now thinking about it! Oooh I'm lame, but cool! I'm going to scan in our cranium drawings and post them up for all the world to see, because you should have as much enjoyment with our moronicness as we did!

Karaoke: I Hardly Knew Thee
The next night, me and the Natalie crew went out to Karaoke and had us a terrific time! I had said the previous weekend that I'd enter the little Karaoke idol thingy because.. well, I'm not sure why. I practiced "Somebody Told Me" all week and sang fairly well (a little off-key in spots) and alas, only came in third *self-declared third.. they only say the top two lol*. I was up against heavy competition, so I did as well as I could. Nat and I also sang a duet of Cry Me A River by JT and it was.. interesting. By interesting, I mean CRAZY! Who can actually sing that song? Santa? Jesus? I think not.

So in the midst of the singing funtimes, there was a dance-off, so Nat and I went up and shook our groove thang, and to no one's surprise, I WON! *cheers* I won a frog wearing a dress. It's really scary and is right now sitting behind my couch so I don't have to look at it. BUT I WON! I'm so great. This is why you love me, incase you were unsure.

By the Bay
So I had to say bye bye to the Bay that week. As sad as it was, it really wasn't sad at all. The people are nice, and that's all well and good, but I mean it was a short period in my life that was very boring and I'm glad it's over. No more folding or being pressured into selling HBC cards for me! Take that... you!

Paint Fumes Make Me See Stripes
During my last week at Summers, I left to go paint in Hamilton to get my room prepped for the greatness that is me living there. My friend Sarah helped me paint, and all in all it took me about 24 hours in total to complete the whole thing. It's a huge room and the design (self-created masterpiece) was very intricate and had to be very exact, so it took a long period of time. I'll post a picture of the finished product soon too, because I have to say, I am the best designer ever. I turned a basement cave into a geometric colour... place. lol

I'm All Gamed Out
My last night at Summers, a whole bunch of us played board games, video games, and everything in between for about 10 hours. I don't think I've ever played that much in a row (that's a lie). It was a great send-off to a great place, and I couldn't have left on a better note!

Everywhere I Am, There I Be
So that means that yes, to all you uninformed folk, I am living in Hamilton now! I've been here for about two weeks and I have to say I reeeeally love it here! My room is more of an apartment than a room, the roomies are terrific people, and I'm starting a great new chapter in the Book of Jam (to be added to the Bible in 2050).

Something Need Doing?
Only people who have played Warcraft will get that reference (Wong, I'm looking in your direction). As for the rest of you uninformed folk, just laugh, because it is actually funny, and you don't want to look like a loser because you don't know, right? (Hayward, I'm looking in your direction)
So I got a job doing bookkeeping with Athena's brother's company. I'm so happy I found something right off the bat, cause job hunting can be a real biotch. I basically do data entry for the entire day, so it's anything but stimulating, but I'll find a way to spice it up. Maybe I'll bring in my dress-frog and put him/her on my computer! If you are unsure of what the dress-frog is, you didn't read the whole post and skipped ahead, you bastard. Refer to "Karaoke: I Hardly Knew Thee" and don't be lazy next time, loser. I'm planning on taking a bartending course in the near future, as well as a financial planning course through Primerica, so who knows what the heck profession I'll have in a year's time!

Hospitals Smell Like What Old People Look Like
My Nana's been really sick lately, so I've been in the B-dot visiting her every three or four days. She was pretty bad for a while, but she's actually getting better, which is a big sigh of relief. *sigh* See? Sigh of relief. She's excited to see my new place, so I'm trying to pump it up as the Taj Mahal so she continues to have something interesting to look forward to. I mean, maybe it IS the Taj Mahal and I just didn't realize I was in India... or maybe not.

Music Makes the People Come Together
So I have a bunch of new music that I must share with you peeps. If you need any of these songs, just ask me on msn and I'll sendja them!

DHT - Listen to Your Heart
Lisa Scott Lee - Lately
Esthero - The Mood *this song is dirty.. not for Heidi*
Gwen Stefani - Cool
KT Tunstall - Black Horse and The Cherry Tree
Cory Lee - Goodbye

DOWNLOAD THEM! They're good, I swear on my martini lamp.

And The Rest I'm almost done, I swear on your martini lamp.
So as for the rest of my life, there are still a few gaps, but not many. I have no man, but who has time for one anyways? Not even any major prospects, which is boring, but whatever. It'll come. The other thing is my job isn't as steady as I'd hoped it to be, so I may have to get something on the side or something else, because I can't have a job that's not going to give me enough hours to pay for living. I figure because my job isn't that steady, however, I will be able to go to Barbados! *yaaaay* I was worried I wouldn't be able to, but I think it will work out now! Maybe I'll tan and meet a hot Barbadosianesish (?) man and life will be parfait. Thar ya go!

So anyways that post took me an hour. The things I do for you people. You better not have skipped sections. They're ALL gold I tells ya! If you didn't, I'll send a little fox to come to your window and tap on it and say "Hello sugar" in a reeeeally creepy voice and then you'll yell "WHY? Why didn't I read it ALL!?" and you'll collapse and have to drink eight bottles of dish detergent just to feel sane again but you won't because the fox will come BACK and run around your bed at night EVEN if it's up against the wall, and you'll have to jump up and down and try to scare it away but then you'll have to beat me at DDR but you won't be able to, so you'll have to settle for beating Joan Rivers because she's not good at it.

And then everything was as it should be.

CRASH came out on DVD two days ago. Why don't you own it yet?

Love ya'll and miss ya'll and ya'll.

--Not Jam Rivers

Word of the day: Sendja: Means "send you", dumbass.
Other word of the day: Barbadosianesish: Means "cabbage patch", dumbass. Geez.

9.01.2005

Li'l Bi'y Up'ate

Points of info:

1. Today is boycott gas day! Don't buy gasoline, and the prices are sure to drop if a majority of people who drive vehicles do this.

2. I have a job interview at VUI this morning. *fingers crossed*

3. A very long update is coming soon. Stay tuned, or else.

--Jam, or else