There's a 3am!?

Hey ya'll,

I'm awake.. not sure why. I'm extremely tired.

...actually, I'm gonna go to bed now.

Night!

--Jam

PS - YES, I know I'm weird.
PPS - I'll update tomorrow.

Zombie Jam

Hey Hey..

So it's just after 1pm, I have class in an hour, and I am so tired I just want to collapse on my bed and sleep until Friday. I'd stay home from my class, but it's a seminar, and I missed the first one last week, so I really have to go, unfortunately.

I rearranged my room last night for some reason, too much energy I guess. It now looks very roomy, and I'm happier with it :)

I can hear the Cosby show on in the background and it's an older episode where the oldest daughter (what's her name) starts going out with that annoying guy that she ends up marrying (that dude). lol I think I just heard his say Jello Pudding, but maybe that was just wishful thinking.

Anywho, I'm gonna go zone out until the bus gets here.

Ciao Ya'll,
--Jam

Plane Crashes are HILARIOUS

Haaaaaah I can't stop laughing. I think it's a mix of what's funny, as well as sleep deprivation, but in any case, it's funny.

My paleroo Lindsay has a line on her MSN and I think it cracked something in my brain because I'm laughing loudly in my room, alone! lol

"Have a nice life. I hope your plane crashes and you die."

HAAAAAH! omg it's just so random and funny and I don't know what it relates to and I don't care! lol wow, my cheeks hurt from laughing!

...and now sleep.

--Jam

My hero of the day: LINDSSSS BECAUSE SHE'S SO DAMN FUNNY WITHOUT KNOWING IT AND I CAN USE THE CAPS BUTTON!

Pre Birthday Post!

Howdy Everybody!

So since it's officially Tuesday morning, it's one week until my birthday! WAAAH! I'm so excited! I love my birthday so much because I have such great people every year to spend it with and I'm gonna get so drunk and so are my friends and yaaaaay! lol!

So update on me.. got the internet at home and loving my new house. It's amazing, the people are all I could ask for and more, and my classes are, for the most part (except Philosophy, right Heidi?) informative, useful, and beneficial to my overall university experience. I'm working harder in my schoolwork than I have in over two years and I'm looking forward to getting some good grades back (I damn well better lol).

Been talking to a new guy on the net recently, and I'm very inrigued by him, which doesn't happen very often, and I haven't been this intrugued since the likes of Oakville. He lives kinda far away, but if my plans stay the way they have been for a couple months, I may end up up there, so who knows. Whilst I am visiting my pal KT at Queens, I think I shall stop in and say hi. :) Might make me feel better that I can't find a guy locally! lol

Well anyways, time for bed!

--Jam

Listen to: Enya - May It Be, Annie Lennox - Into the West (the two Lord of the Rings songs.. the first was nominated for Best Song at the Oscars, and the second WON Best Song. Even though I don't like the movies, the music deserves appreciation!)

Torment

Howdy.

So it's past 6am and I'm awake. I just had the first dream that actually woke me up in my entire life and I'm very distraught.

My Dream
I go to drop off Christmas presents to my siblings on December 25th because I think they deserve gifts even if I don't see them very often. *in real life, I haven't talked to my dad or step mother since May, and don't plan to any time soon due to fun events, which you can ask me about if you really want to know*

Anyways, I go into the front foyer and they greet me and I see my youngest brother Jacob in the living room. I call for him to come give me a hug, but he doesn't remember me, so I let it go. It's not that important. Brittany, my sister (14) comes and gives me a hug and I tell her "no matter what happens, we're staying friends, alright?" and she says ok. She then asks if I'm staying for Christmas dinner, and I say no I'm not invited, to which she asks "why not?". I look up at my stepmom and dad who are standing there and I say "you ask your parents why, I'm sure they'll give you some sort of answer."

So I go to leave, and my dad hits me in the face, so hard that I hit the floor.
...and then I wake up.

I'm so annoyed with this dream because since my dad screwed up our already fragile relationship, I've been having recurring dreams about him or the family or anything else that could have to do with it, and I'm sick and tired of it. I mean it bothers me that I'm now detached from one half my family, but I mean, I got over it. Well I thought I did.

So now I sit here, awake, and my face almost hurts from the punch. So much so that I feel like calling him right now and telling him off. But of course, then I'd be crazy lol and that's probably not a good thing.

I'm also annoyed, at this point in time, at people who have cute little relationships with their families. People here in St. Catharines think it's weird that I enjoy staying here rather than go home. It's almost to the point where my housemates think I'm some sort of horrible person to my mom, at least that's the vibe I get from a couple of them. It just seems so unrealistic for me to get along with my parents. Our levels of realism, faith, education, and mentality, as well as our points of view on nearly everything, are very different. Ugh... "family" is just another word for people who were forced upon you. You must like these people because they are your "family". Well, "family life" can be rearranged to make "fail my life", and that's exactly what I'm going to do if I continue to dwell on the stupid and ignorant actions of my "family".

Anyways, I'll do a normal update eventually. I just needed to get that out, because this dream should not be forgotten. The inner torment he is causing me today will cost me a hell of a lot in the future, and I'm not simply talking money to my shrink, although I'm sure that will take up some "cost".

--Jam

Note to self: DAMN you type fast. You sexy dawg you! lol aaaand ya I'm weird and need sleep. Night.

Disconnected from the World..

Hey ya'll,

Sorry for the lack of posting. I have no internet at home yet and I won't for a couple more days. So anytime I'm online, I'm in the "fishbowl", a big computer commons with glass walls.

So that's where I am.

I'll do a big update once I get the net up and running, but in the meantime, SEND ME AN EMAIL! I love getting emails when I get to school, so send me one if you're reading this! If you don't, I'll know...!

Well I guess that's it.

--Jam

Things to do today: Buy books, get a haircut, go to too many hours of class.