The Best and Worst Movies of 2005: #1

The Best Movie of 2005

Brokeback Mountain



Synopsis
Two young men fall in love during a summer herding sheep. The film documents the individual trials each faces, the struggles of pre-modern day love, and the lengths each will go for the other.

Why I Chose It
This movie showed the strongest bond of love, either heterosexual or homosexual, that I have ever seen portrayed in a film or otherwise. You feel compelled to want their relationship to work out, even if it comes at the cost of other relationships. It is definitely a film that utilizes the human desire for love and companionship.

The musical score was very accurate to each scene and the sets and costumes were accurate to the time period. The acting, though, is what made this film. Michelle Williams and Jake Gyllenhall were great supporting actors, portraying individual characters that blind their real personas. Heath Ledger, the best of the group, was emotional, convincing, and displayed by far one of the best performances on screen that I have ever seen.

Lastly, this film really deals with issues that are hardly talked about, even beyond the homosexual "controversy" that surrounds it; love for more than one person and holding to stereotypical boundaries are amongst them. Overall, this film is definitely the best of the year and deserves every award it gets and every it does not.

Possible Oscar Nominations
Best Art Direction
Best Original Score
Best Adapted Screenplay
Best Original Song: "A Love That Will Never Grow Old" by Emmylou Harris
Best Director: Ang Lee
Best Supporting Actor: Jake Gyllenhall
Best Supporting Actress: Michelle Williams
Best Supporting Actress: Linda Cardellini
Best Actor: Heath Ledger
Best Picture

**Yes, I realize the Oscar nominations have already been released as of now, but these were my predictions before they came out. I have a feeling a certain loser was going to point that out, so I pointed it out for him.**


The Worst Movie of 2005

Kingdom of Heaven



Synopsis
Crusades bla bla.. Jerusalem... bla bla fighting. BLA.
*I blocked it out.*

Why I Chose It
Kingdom of Heaven is quite possible the worst movie I've ever seen.. maybe even the worst movie ever made. Reasons:

The acting was terrible. Orlando was never that great, but in this film he stopped acting and just sort of "tried" to act. His character and his portrayal were boring and not convincing, leaving me tired of him for all eternity. All other actors in this film, including that chick who I loathe enough to not look up her name, were not worthy of a name in the first place.

The script was predictable and uninspired. The lines were Riddick-bad or maybe worse. The way they were said was even worse than the words themselves, but I already talked about that.

Every aspect of this movie was terrible, except the ending, because it ended the film. It was horrible boring, and could even be called time consuming, because the time you consume is definitely time you will want back. I want those three hours back. Do NOT see this movie and check if I'm right. You will regret it.

Possible Oscar Nominations
If this was to get a nomination, I would boycott the Oscars. Forever.


I hope you all enjoyed my top films! If you didn't agree with me, tough cookies. I'll be doing an Oscar prediction list very soon, so stay tuned for that! Jam out.

The Best and Worst Movies of 2005: #2

The Best Movies of 2005: #2

Crash



Synopsis
Following the lives of a dozen different individuals, Crash shows the difficulties people have in their lives through racial discrimination and social constructs.

Why I Chose It
Crash was one of the best films I've ever seen. It is leagues above the films below it, and basically ties the number one film. Here's some reasons:

The acting was believable and intense. The actor interactions were phenomenal and no one actor was an incorrect fit. It will be hard for me to deter my mind from thinking of each actor as that character for the rest of my life.The storyline, although disjointed, was compelling and very true. Twists and intense moments make this film one not to forget. Lastly, the music in this film was amazing. It had an arabic feel and practically made me tear up just listening to it.

This was a movie that everyone should definitely see. It's educational, entertaining, and emotional beyond the majority of other films I've ever seen.

Possible Oscar Nominations
Best Art Direction
Best Cinematography
Best Original Score
Best Original Screenplay
Best Supporting Actress: Thandie Newton
Best Supporting Actor: Matt Dillon
Best Supporting Actor: Michael Pena
Best Director: Paul Haggis
Best Picture


The Worst Movies of 2005: #2

March of the Penguins



Synopsis
A documentary that follows the mating rituals of the Emperor Penguins in Antarctica.

Why I Chose It
This was the most boring film ever. In history. Ever. You could tell it was sponsored by National Geographic because there was too much watching of Penguins and not enough anything else. It was fascinating to know that the penguins have so many trials and tribulations to overcome, but it should have been in book form. It was boring, short, and pointless. A horrible excuse for a documentary.

Possible Oscar Nominations
Wrong answer.

The Best and Worst Movies of 2005: #3

The Best Movies of 2005: #3

Aeon Flux



Synopsis
A woman searching for truth in the last civilization on Earth in the distant future joins an elite group of assassins determined to change the patterns of today. In attempting to assissinate the President, she realizes there is much more to the mysterious city than was originally thought.

Why I Chose It
In the last minutes of posting, I changed this film from it's position because it was just too amazing to ignore. It is single-handedly the best action film I have ever seen, and the storyline is so philosophical that it adds an edge I rarely see in a film, action or otherwise. Charlize plays a captivating character who, in above-Charlie's Angels-fashion, performs gymnastic moves I could hardly even imagine. The sets were the best I have seen in years; the same goes for the costumes. All in all, this movie compares to none and is a must see.

Possible Oscar Nominations
Best Art Direction
Best Cinematography
Best Costume Design
Best Visual Effects
Best Sound Editing


The Worst Movies of 2005: #3

King Kong



Synopsis
A crazy director travels with his crew to an uncharted island to shoot a movie. Once there, his lead actress is kidnapped by a tribe of crazies who give her to a big monkey. From there, they go in to save her, AND to capture the monkey of course! Then they take the monkey back to civilization where, oh no, all hell breaks lose! Crazy!

Why I Chose It
King Kong was horrible, and is extremely lucky to be #3 and not #1. The acting was awful, even by stars Watts and Brody. The direction lives up to Jackson's long-winded epics, only this one is NOT worthy of an oscar of any kind. The graphics in many places were as bad as in the 1933 classic. The "tear-jerker scenes" were long, boring, and giggle-worthy. I could go on, but it's not worth it.

On a side note, I don't understand why people even liked it. It was long, lacked plot and story, and wasn't even that visually stimulating. It definitely does not qualify, as movies should, as any type of art whatsoever.

Possible Oscar Nominations
Best Film Editing, I guess.

But NOTHING ELSE, for the love of Jebus!

The Best and Worst Movies of 2005: #4

The Best Movies of 2005: #4

Memoires of a Geisha



Synopsis
A girl is sold to a woman who raises young women to be Geisha in order to make money. Through hard work and determination, this twist on the Cinderella story allows the girl to grow into the most predominant Geisha in history.

Why I Chose It
This film is very visually stimulating. The costumes are so intricate, the scenes are so well shot, and the sets are very realistic. The storyline, although fairly linear, is so well thought out and produced. The acting surpassed my expectations, especially by lead Zhang Ziyi. All around, a fantastic historical film that is a treat to the mind and for the eyes. It should definitely clean up at the Oscars.

Possible Oscar Nominations
Best Cinematography
Best Costume Design
Best Art Direction
Best Film Editing
Best Adapted Screenplay
Best Makeup
Best Original Score
Best Actress: Zhang Ziyi
Best Picture


The Worst Movies of 2005: #4

Guess Who



Synopsis
A white guy is dating a black girl. He goes to meet her family. Tension occurs because of the racial difference. But in the end, everyone goes "aw".

Why I Chose It
It was only sort of funny. Throughout the entire film, I simply felt bad for Ashton Kutcher's character. He's just picked on, but not in a funny way, and Bernic Mac is just a jerk. The ending was ridiculously predictable and annoying. So many reasons why this movie was bad, but the main reason is that if we had switched Kutcher and Mac for two serious actors, we'd have a serious drama on our hands. A comedy should be funny and entertaining, not weird and boring.

Possible Oscar Nominations
Right.

The Best and Worst Movies of 2005: #5

The Best Movies of 2005: #5

The Corporation



Synopsis
A documentary on big business and all of its repercussions. Includes testimony from dozens of businesspeople, journalists, marketers, and anything in between.

Why I Chose It
The Corporation is the epitemy of documentary, and the true power a documentary could have. This film alone empowers the viewer through extreme shock, dismay, and any other emotion you could feel. It is moving in a way that no other documentary has been (in my opinion). It almost took the top spot until the winter films rolled in. The best documentary I have ever seen, and the movie I most recommend as the "must see" film of the year.

Possible Oscar Nominations
Best Documentary
Best Original Score


The Worst Movies of 2005: #5

The Longest Yard



Synopsis
A group of criminals in prison turn to football as a release. Led by an ex-pro football player (played by Adam Sandler for some reason), the team competes against the guards of the same jail.

Why I Chose It
Let's look at the facts. A jail movie *and* a football movie *and* an Adam Sandler movie *and* a Chris Rock movie. Include Nelly the "RAPPER" NOT ACTOR and Burt "I suck" Reynolds and you've got yourself one F- movie. It stopped being funny within the first ten minutes, moved to cute, then to annoying, then to boring, and finally to barf. Absolutely terrible.

Possible Oscar Nominations
*cough* No.

The Best and Worst Movies of 2005: #6

The Best Movies of 2005: #6

Heights



Synopsis
The story follows many different characters and shows the interconnectivity of them all. It includes and develops themes such as love, struggle, and sexuality.

Why I Chose It
Heights was incredible in many different ways. The acting, by some huge stars such as Glenn Close and James Marsden, and by rising stars such as Elisabeth Banks, was phenomenal and at times more real than the facades of real life. The passion and emotion felt grips the audience and definitely does not let go until the astonishing climax. A definite must see for the lovers of any genre.

Possible Oscar Nominations
Best Cinematography
Best Original Screenplay
Best Original Score


The Worst Movies of 2005: #6

Constantine



Synopsis
A guy is fighting an on-going battle against the forces of evil, which the rest of the world seems to ignore, or something. A girl wants to find out where her twin sister went because she doesn't believe that she just died, so she, of course, goes to this guy and becomes able to see all the baddies.

Why I Chose It
Keanu Reeves really isn't that great in a lot of movies and this can definitely be added to the list. The plot is weak and very unnecessarily confusing, the acting is horrible, the graphic of the "demons" are pathetic, and the list goes on. I'm being nice in giving it the #6 spot. Luckily for Keanu, there were suckier films.

Possible Oscar Nominations
No. No no no no.

The Best and Worst Movies of 2005

Well everyone, it's that time of year again! The verdicts are in, the judges have made their decisions, and the list of the most amazing and most fit for the crapper are in!

This year, it was very difficult to choose a top and bottom five, so I will actually be doing a top and bottom six, because I love you that much (surprising, I know). Check back everyday for the next in the countdown, and in a week, we'll have Jam's ultimates. Sounds fun? I thought so.

Here are a few that just couldn't make the cut:

Best of 2005

#8 Kung Fu Hustle
This film, although strange and slightly confusing, was so visually stimulating and captivating that it should definitely be on any list of best films of the year. One of the only films this year that managed to take and keep my attention for the entire length of time it played. A must see.
Possible Oscar Nominations:
Best Foreign Film

#7 Be Cool
This film was great for a number of reasons. A great cast starts us off, including an animated number of characters, from Vince Vaughn's shady antics, to The Rock's hilarious gay bodyguard. An elaborate and everchanging plot, and a climax that will make you jump for joy. Not a film that will remain a "classic", but a very entertaining film nonetheless.
Possible Oscar Nominations:
Best Supporting Actor: The Rock

Worst of 2005

#7 The Interpreter
A film that had too much hype to look like a great film. Bad acting by Sean Penn, a very cheesy script, and a storyline that is extremely obvious within twenty minutes of the opening credits makes for a bad film. It had so much promise, but murdered it, and butchered the corpse. This year's Stepford Wives. Interesting that Ms. Kidman is in both.



Stay tuned tomorrow for the beginning of the list. The Top Six are especially all really great, so you won't want to miss a step!

--Critic Jam, take two

EDIT: Links to the top and bottom six films of 2005:

Six
Five
Four
Three
Two
One

Graze the Reaper

Hey people.

So today was a weird day. It started off like any other. I went to work, did some courses to better myself as a banker or something like that, and left with Sarah at 5 to head up to the movies to see Memoires of a Geisha.

We took the bus up and arrived very early, so we decided to get food at Licks. We were at the counter, ready to order, when a man runs up behind us and says "Someone help, she's choking." I freeze. Sarah freezes. A woman behind him is starting to gasp for air. A man runs from behind us and begins giving her the Heimlich. He does it two or three times and she yells in a faint voice, as loudly as she can, "Please, please!" I stand there helpless as he finally makes her cough up the large piece of onion that was lodged in her throat. She coughs for a long time and thanks him, and I stand there, with a very stunned Sarah, shaking.

It was the scariest thing that has ever happened to me in my entire life. I thought I was going to witness this woman, who was only in her 40's, die in a fast food restaurant because I didn't step up right away and help her, or because the man didn't actually know the Heimlich, or for whatever other reason that ran through my mind. I'm tearing just thinking about it. It terrifies me.

I can't even think of anything else to say, and everything else I had isn't important.

Cliff notes:

-The woman bus driver was a horrible person and made me angry because she was rude to me and talked on the phone while driving a bus in slippery weather.

-Memoires of a Geisha was phenomenal and will be hard to beat at the Oscars. I need to see Brokeback to judge, though..

--Jam

Why Men Are Dumber Than Women

...because they don't know what they want!

BLAAAARG! (<---my frustration)

OH MY GOD. So while I was gone, Ralphie was upset that he couldn't talk to me and all this. So now that I'm back I want to see him (of course) and talk to him and all that, but he had.. HAD.. the flu. So for the first couple days I accepted that he needed rest and all that. But now, he's completely avoiding me. WHAT THE HELLO. I wrote him an email a couple days ago and he said he's not avoiding me or ignoring me. Puh-lease. He's like an MSN fiend, like me, so even if he wasn't on MSN as much as before, he would have emailed me or something because he once was interested.

I understand the above paragraph didn't all make sense, but I'm just.. so.. ANGRY. I KNOW what I want.. why can't other guys? Get it together, you stupid sex! No wonder straight people think gay guys can't form stable couples.. it's because subconsciously they're thinking that two guys together probably can't work a doorknob, let alone have a family or a consenting NORMAL relationship.

And Ralphie is not the first to be like this either. Ohhhhh no. We've got summer romance and avid blog reader alike in this stupid dumb frustrating category. Just.. GAH.

..I think I got food poisoning from Harveys, so people may wanna stay away from there lol. Had to take a sick day today, so poo.

MEN SUCK. I'd so go straight if girls didn't have cooties.

I went on gay.com for the first time in months yesterday and was disgusted in about thirty seconds, so I left. I'm done with meeting new guys for now. I'm working with what I have, which is nothing. Thank Jebus for Lisa's kitty, or we'd have one very grumpy Jam on our hands.

Lastly, a couple things:

Here's a cool flash video entitled Doodle.

As for my Bajan journal, I added it to the sidebar, so I'll post in these posts when there's new posts in that post. Post post post post post.

Finally, my Top Films 2005 will be starting very shortly. I have not seen Brokeback Mountain or Memoires of a Geisha, so if they're not on the list and you have a brain anneurism about it, remember that I have not seen them, and that you should get a towel for your brain.

Smelly damn men.

--Jam

My Bajan Experience

Hey peeps! So as you all know, or should know by now if you're paying attention, I went to Barbados with my friend Loretta and her family over the holidays. Instead of trying to remember what happened and tell you all, I wrote a journal while I was there for my, and your, convenience. I'm posting it all online because I just love you that much! Note the dates and times of the posts because that's the exact time I wrote each post. The trip was definitely a roller coaster of emotions, so don't be prepared for a simply happy journal, because some parts are not.

All comments on the trip can go on this post, just because there are too many entries to post on and all that jazz. Enjoy!

**For now, I've only typed out some of the entries, because I have a lot more than I thought I did! Check back soon and I should have more up in no time. There'll be about 15-20 by the end, I think.**

1. The Plane
2. The First Impression
3. The First Morning
4. The Annoyances

--Bajan Jam

Randumb

Hey ma peeps!

So I'll be updating very soon. I'm just doing a big journal about my trip that's going to take a few days to collaborate, so be patient and a lot of posts will come!

A few random thingies:

Leon reads my blog! Weeeeeeird... I wonder how many guys I've dated read this? Hrm, well just incase, Dan you're a bastard, and Ryan gets the prize for the most bizarre. Baaah hah, take that, you!

Scotiabank is going very well.. I just had my third day of work and it's absolutely fabulous! Je l'adore!

I went tie shopping yesterday with mommy and I got a pink one and a red one and TWO Xmas ones that were only $5 each! Holy good shopper! (Me... I'm referring to me.. because I'm a good shopper.. yep)

I haven't talked to Ralphie in days. I think he's ignoring me or avoiding me or something. I missed him a lot while I was gone, but not so much anymore. *shrug* Men are complicated.

Lastly, I'm green.. apparantly:


What Color is Your Brain?
brought to you by Quizilla

Some of those words suit me.. some don't.

Bye!

--Jam

My hero of the day: You gotta earn it, loser.

PS: If anyone wants to see Brokeback Mountain or Memoires of a Geisha, msg me and we'll go! I need to see those two before I do my best and worst movies of 2005! Hurry while supplies last!