The Dilemma of the Lion

Howdy peeps and peepettes.

So, here's the scoop as of late. I have daddy-drama once again. If you want to hear my sap story about my father, you can read it here. If not, just sit, relax, and listen to me bitch. That's "listen to me bitch", not "listen to me, bitch".

Back in April-ish, I stopped my child support payments from him. My mom was getting hit (hard) by claiming the support, even though I was receiving the money (because Canada is just so efficient that way). Here is an excerpt of an email he wrote at one point, months ago, in terms of what money he would donate to me rather than the child support:

"...the ball is
therefore in your court to tell the judge that the child support is no
longer needed and that you have sufficient funding for university. That is
the reason I have never gone back to court to have the order ended. Most
orders end when the child turns 18. If you have the order ended then money
can still be available to you for tuition. I would like a receipt for the
tuition that I would pay and get a tax deduction. This would allow me to
continue to support your education without changing my budget drastically."

So I, of course, assumed that he was paying for my tuition, which would cost approximately half of what he had been paying in child support per year. I thought "yes, of course that's fair" and went along my merry way.

About a month ago, I realized I hadn't talked to him about it since I received that email in late March and thought I should give him a call to make sure he is still paying my tuition. He isn't exactly a model moral citizen, so my mom and I both could see him turning around and saying "screw you", leaving me with no money. Normally, I could fall back on a student loan co-signed with my grandpa, but since my grandpa is still very sick, I have to work through the year, and have Paul pay for my tuition.

I've called him at least ten times in the last month, trying desperately to get a hold of him and make sure he is still paying. I continuously get my step-mother, a judgmental bore of a woman, who talks to me about illness and religion and how my youngest brother is a "good boy", over and over. I leave my number numerous times, but of course, I get no call.

Today, I finally get him when he's home; not that I want to talk to him, but I have to, so here it comes. He comes on the phone and speaks in a sullen tone.

"Hello Mr. McDonald. What can I do for you?"
"Hi. You're a very hard person to get a hold of!"
"Well, I work." (Gasp! Really!?)
"Ah, yeah. I've noticed. How is that treating you?"
"Tiring. You?"
"Yeah, tiring too. I know the feeling."
*laughs* "Yeah." (The laugh and the "yeah" were more like "Yeah, right. Like you could ever know my kind of tired.) "Anyway, what did you want?"
"Well, I've been trying to get a hold of you because my tuition is due next week and I wanted to make sure you're still paying it."
"I never said I was paying your tuition." (Oh lord.)
"Oh. Well I thought (knew) you had said that in an email a while back."
"No. I had said I would put money towards your education."
"Oh." (Well what the hell do I say now?)
*sigh* "How much is this going to cost me?"
"Well.." *insert numbers.. bla bla*
"Great. More debt for me."

This continues for quite some time. Him bitching and moaning about something he clearly promised months earlier, and me staying perfectly calm, telling him facts. I felt like a lion tamer. Keeping my strength and confidence but not making sudden moves, for fear the lion would pounce and rip my tuition money to shreds, leaving me helpless to die.

In the end he sort-of agreed, and I'm emailing him a bill in a couple days when my courses are all confirmed. I called my mom after and she was furious, saying I had more patience than her. She basically wanted to go over to his house and give him a piece of her mind, but of course, she didn't.

Anyway, I guess that's resolved. If he doesn't pay it, I can't go to school, so that should be a fun chat to have at Christmas dinner. "So everyone, did you know my dad wouldn't pay half the money he had been paying in child support to go towards my tuition? Did you know I was pulling off a 3.3 GPA and was in an honours program? Did you know the most Christian of all of you is actually a neglecting, disgusting human being? You didn't? Well, my oh my! Grab some more stuffing and let's talk turkey!"

--Jam

Okay, Fine

Hello people.

So I've had no real urge to blog, but I know a bunch of you are getting antsy, so here I am.

I've been uber stressed lately, enough to say "uber". I still haven't found a place to live, and I only have three more days to find somewhere. I have friends to live with, so don't write me and say "Oh Jebus no! You'll be out in the cold! Save the Jam from himself!" because I'll write back and be all "Na-uh". Just like that. And you don't want that.

I've been working at the bank like a crazy banker man. The promotions are still a possibility, but I won't know for a couple more months whether my superiors were all talk or actually had substance behind what they were foretelling. Right now, I'm trying to focus on the upcoming semester and everything associated with it. Studying, books, stress - all that fun stuff. I'm looking forward to seeing all ma peeps and all that. Yep.

Sorry. This is quite possibly the most boring blog I've ever done.

So, in order to spice it up, here is a picture of the new me:



I know it's not the best picture of me, but it shows my point.

Now, everyone, what has changed? No, I was a drunk before. No, shut up, I was that pale before. Yes, I'm now a brunette! Hurray! I've always wanted to try it, and now that I have a beautiful hairdresser boyfriend, he was able to do it AND make me look good. Look! I have eyebrows! Eyebrows! I'm amazed too.

Anyway, that's it. Starting the new semester on the right foot hopefully. Also, hopefully I get a place in the next few days, then all will be as it should be.

--Jam

Just Have Another Beer Then

Watch this while I get over my blog hiatus:




--Jam

Alive

Hey peeps.

I have some stories to tell, but it's late and I've just been so busy and overwhelmed lately. Gimme a day or two and I'll finally have an update for you, as well as a shocking picture! (talk about suspenseful, eh?)

--Jam

"Tidy Freaks Me Out!"

I've become accustomed to having random crap all over my apartment. Books on the floor, plastic bags in a big pile for no reason, receipts from 2001 cluttering up my desk - all became a normal occurrence. I walk funny in the middle of the night because I'm afraid of stepping on a book and breaking my neck while wearing plaid. I don't use certain furniture because it's always full of crap, so it develops into what I like to call "modern art".

There's never been a time when my room wasn't messy either. My Nana once bought me a certificate that said "World's Messiest Room". At Brock, I'm sure I had piles of random books that sat in one spot on the floor for entire semesters. (I'm not sure why I think the floor is a good spot for books, yet I still do it. "Maybe one day I'll have an urge to just lie on the floor and read!" Yeah. They should have a short bus for people who are tidy-inept.)

A couple days ago, I tripped over a book and fell onto my bed. I fell face-first in a non-painful way and just lied there for a long time, laughing into my comforter. The same day, my landlady told me there was someone coming to look at the apartment the next day. I told myself, "Jam, this is a sign," and went on a cleaning frenzy.

Now, my apartment is too clean. There is nothing on the floor, so when I woke up last night to get a glass of milk, my walking funny made me trip on all the extra air. "Who put all that air there?" I thought. "I'll have to put some clutter there in the morning." I glance around and it's all so empty, like I need to paint the carpet. Maybe if I put a lamp in the middle of that room, it won't look so empty? Maybe if...

So, I'm now trying to shut myself up and live in the clean apartment. "Be normal," I keep telling myself. "Clean people are happy people!" I'm not sure if that's really true, but hell, it's going to be true for me, or proudly laugh at the world into my bed covers I will!

--Jam

Bubble Up

Hello, my Barbies and Kens. You all look gorgeous!

I can't believe it's almost half-past 2am. What is that about? I think time is speeding up while I'm not looking. Totally.

So I had a weird, rocky day. Without going into too much detail out of respect, I had a very good and not-so-good day with the boy. Of course days like that will happen, and of course I'm awfully frustrated. At first, I really didn't know what I was going to do. I was confused, for so many reasons, and really just wanted to curl up in bed with some Amaretto and some Raw Shark Texts (the new book I'm reading *wink*Liz*wink*). Then I realized that here's the deal:

1. We have our differences.
2. We'll butt heads from time to time.
3. We can make it through it.
4. It's completely worth it.

To be completely honest, I've never really had this experience before. When things go rough, I've had the tendency to give up, or have had the other person give up. At this point in time, though, I don't see that happening, or at least I sincerely hope it doesn't. He does something for me that is almost inexplainable. Actually, it is inexplainable.

I know he reads my blog *mini-yay-fest*, but whether or not he reads this is irrelevant. I've made an internal decision to work things out as they come, to look to the positives, and to persevere.

And that's all for today, kiddies. Now go to bed. Time speeds by very quickly during that. Scouts honour.

--Jam

Listen to: Bubbly by Colbie Caillat. It's gorgeous.

The Sick Face

Howdy peeps.

Today I am going to ranting about sickness. I had thought "I hate being sick. Who ever posts about being sick?" until I read a very similar post with the exact same symptoms over at Marriage-101.

Last night, my throat felt sticky and funky, so I downed some NeoCitrin and a sinus pill and went to be nice and early. Screw you, cold, I thought. I'm gonna get you before you can get me with your smelly, germy hands! Boy, was I wrong. I woke up at 6.30am sweating like a pig (do pigs even sweat?) and completely delirious. I'd imagine my fever would have broken one of those cute little glass thermometers, but alas, I don't own a thermometer because I'm a poor student. Feel sorry for me.

I fell back asleep, waking up every five minutes-or-so for the next two hours before finally suffering through ridiculous sick-dreams until noon. All day I sat around, aching as though I was just on American Gladiators, and making this horrible "uck-uck-UCK" noise in the back of my throat. I'm not sure what the hell I'm sick with, but it sucks, and seemingly will only get worse.

The boy called today and was going to come over to try to make me feel better. I don't know about you, but when I'm sick, I don't want to see anyone but the characters in my video games and Oprah. Maybe Tyra, but I'd have to be fairly goofy on meds to see her.

I had also been sick Sunday morning, although that was hungover-sick, not real-sick. I felt bad for Todd because I'd imagine I was groaning and looking quite terrible in his bed. He went to the store and bought me pills though, which was sweet, and awkwardly attempted to look after me. It was cute.

Here's a picture of us on 80's night Saturday night. Neither of us were 100% 80's (me moreso than him, I think), but it was definitely a hawt evening. The sick after was worth the fun.



--Jam

The Everyday Foxtrot

Hey everyone. How is the weather in *insert where you are*? I heard that *insert friend's name* is *insert verb*ing. That's *insert positive/negative word*!

My life lately has been ridiculous.

First of all, I've been spending a lot of time with Todd.


Don't I look sexy? Rawr. Not the best pic of him, but come on, we look cute as hell.

It's amazing to be getting to know someone new, having a great time, and being treated like a deserve to be treated, rather than that bullshit that Michael put me through earlier this year. For example, two nights ago I wasn't feeling good, so I just stayed in and played video games. Todd messaged me and asked what I was up to and I told him I was sick and just vegging out. I asked him to come over and spend the night, take care of me, and he kind of made excuses and all that, so I thought he was mad at me. I settled into my game and just tuned everything out until he called around 10.30pm:

Jam: Hello?
Todd: What are you up to?
Jam: Just vegging. What are you doing?
Todd: Nothing. I might go for dinner with a guy. What would you think about that?
Jam: Um, what? Who?
Todd: You.
Jam: ...are you here?
Todd: Where's your door?
Jam: I don't have a door.

Anyway, besides the crazy fact that I don't have a door, it was such a terrific surprise. He had me completely fooled, and bought me dinner, and really did make me feel better. I haven't had a guy do something seriously kind and surprising like that in a long, long while, and it was so refreshing. This one could go for a while, folks.

Other than Todd, I've been studying for my exam tomorrow. I want to write it about as much as I want to be kicked in the family jewels, but I'm sitting at a 76, so I might be able to pull out an A if I study very hard. Fingers and toes crossed, okay?

I've been working a ton lately as well, and had some interesting news thrown my way yesterday. The hours of the branch are being extended, so I'll be guaranteed hours in the fall, which is obviously terrific. Any money during school is a blessing, for sure. The amazing part is that if evening/weekend shifts are added on as well, they'll be looking for a new customer service supervisor, and I, ladies and gentlemen, am up for the position! That would mean a huge pay increase, vacation pay, the works. A real job that would fit my school schedule and would be absolutely fantastic! I can't even believe it. So, for the next month, I'm going to study all aspects of that job so that when it comes available, I'll get it. Cross all your appendages for that as well. All of them.

I'm planning out my next tribute, so stay tuned for that. The new blog isn't coming along at all because I've been so preoccupied, but hopefully I'll have a layout by the end of August.

See you later, *insert your name, duh*!

--Jam

Spatula In The Pants

Last week, Todd's roommate decided to do a music video parody of Paris Hilton's "Nothing in This World". I had the pleasure of watching most of the taping and busting a gut laughing off-camera. So, for your viewing pleasure, here it is:




Oh, and by the way, the hot guy in the video is Todd, the guy I'm dating! Hah, love it.

--Jam

Tribute: Natalie

Natalie C.

Hometown: Brantford, Ontario

Known since: Spring 2004

Our Songs: Me & You by Cassie, Maybe by Emma Bunton

How we met: My friend Heather and I lived in residence in our first year at Brock. We always wandered over to each other's houses to get away from our crazy roommates. One day, I came over and there was Natalie. We immediately hit it off, the two most bubbly people that ever graced the halls of Brock. Within five minutes, we had decided we were going to live together and the rest is history.

Amazing memories:
Natalie teaching me hip-hop dancing at my going away party in summer 2006. We were both drunk out of our minds and according to many different people looked like we were trying to get ants out of our pants.

Sitting in Limeridge after a wild night, eating Arby's, and discussing life.

Wading around her pool with Heather and discussing and laughing at how old we are and how far we've come.

Choosing her earrings every time she went out. I'm a professional earring picker.

Sitting on my bed, finding out that Nat was about to change her life, and I was one of the first people she told.

Making fun of her cutting out a hole in her bread and cooking an egg in it, and then making it myself every morning this past year.

***

Natalie is one of those people that I didn't need when she entered my life, and now I couldn't live without her. Even though we're living in separate provinces, living our own lives, we still manage to contact one another when we can, and whenever I come home, I know Natalie will make time for me and vice-versa. We lived together for a year, and due to her and the other roommates, it was the best year of my life. It was hard for me to do a memories section, simply because I have so many memories with her. She is the only person who is as/more adventurous, social, and caring as I am, and I respect her and look up to her more than she could ever imagine. She has changed my life for the better, for the best, and I hope she will continue to do so.

--Jam


Me and Nat, June 2005.

Just so everyone knows, I'm going to start doing Tributes on Jam's Blog every now and then, to add something to this blog and to my friends who have stayed with it for this entire time. I'm going to add a section in the sidebar as well. So hurray for Natalie for being the first Tribute!

Not Viewing

The new hostess of The View has been announced, and lo-and-behold, it is Whoopi Goldberg.

Now, I have no problem with Whoopi. Frankly, I loved her in her films, I loved her as the host of the Oscars, but I am thoroughly unimpressed with this decision to put her on daily, opinionated television.

Watch this clip and honestly tell me if you think she is interesting and compelling enough to be the lead host of The View.

I miss Rosie already, even though she went nuts.

--Jam

Beep Beep Beep Beep

Mornin'! If I was in person, I'd be waving a big ol' hearty wave at your face. Wouldn't that be amazing? Thrilling, more like.

Anyway hi! I'm so sorry I've neglected you folk for, like, a week. I guess it's not that long, but I'm such a giving blogger that I feel responsible for any sadness you've experienced in the last week. Forgive me, PLEASE! Spanks.

So, I'm in a very all-over-the-map mood right now. I just woke up from a riveting evening. I got home from work, turned on an old episode of Top Model (because obviously I'm watching old seasons online because it's fabulous), ate some macaroni salad and some Mini Crunch'ems, and totally fell ridiculously asleep on my little loveseat couch for four hours. Four hours is not a nap, people. It's sleep. I just slept away my whole evening. I had planned on my friend Cindy calling me to go for Starbucks, but she never called. Lovely. So now it's 9.30, I've had no social interaction besides the bank, and I'm full of macaroni, pickles, milk, and no-Bucks.

Well, I did have some interaction this morning. This was my morning.

*dreaming of being lost in an Anthropology building at MUN... now, just jump up those stairs and you'll find the prof fo-BEEP-r the th-BEEP*

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!
*Jam sits up and doesn't have a clue what's going on*
"It's over there."
"AH!" Oh, it's him.
*Jam runs over to the alarm clock across the room in tiny gym shorts he borrowed.*
*Jam fumbles with the clock for at least thirty seconds of horrible morning clock-beeping.*
"I can't find the off button!"
"It's on top."
He's really sleepy. Does he know what he's talk- "Oh, here it is." *click*

I know that wasn't the most coherent dialogue segment, but I tried to get across exactly what my brain was going through. It was all so random and loud and crazy. It was nice, though, waking up in a bed with someone I am beginning to care for, even if I had to go to work in a torrential rainstorm.

Anyway, about him, he's 26, a hairdresser, and I've liked him for a long time. I've known him here for over half-a-year and we've only went out a couple times but it's felt so natural. We've been having so much fun rather than being awkward around one another. If it continues, I'll tell the story of how I came onto him because I think it's cute. Then again, it may be psycho-drunk-strange, but whatever. What's important is he does something to me that makes my heart stop and my stomach leap. I haven't really felt like that (and I think he feels it back) for a long time.

Well cowboys and cowgirls, it's time for me to go to bed. Again.

--Jam

EDIT: I forgot to mention the other thing that has to do with "beep". In Newfoundland, there is this noise that people make instead of saying "ya" or "mmhmm". It's this beep in the back of one's throat, like a short "mp". Here's an example, in dialogue format, as I know that worked so well earlier.

Jam: So I met this adorable boy. When I saw him I was like "damn", ya know?
Newfie: Mp.
Jam: So I started talking to him, like, cause he's hot...
Newfie: Mp.
Jam: ...stop beeping at me.

Like that. It's weird and irritating. I've picked it up because all my co-workers do it unknowingly and the only people I've been associating with lately is them. I'm now making a conscious effort to stop doing it, which I'm sure looks like extreme constipation during a conversation. Oh well, it's better than beeping at people, right? Mp.

Totally Manual

Hey ma brothas from anotha mothas 'n' ma sistas from all those otha mistas.

Can't post much this morning either. I've been wanting to blog, but I just haven't had the opportunity. I'm seeing a new boy, which of course I will talk about very soon because it's very exciting, and I've also been stressing about the end of my course and drinking lots. Ya know, the usual end-of-semester drama-o-rama.

Anyway, off to work in a torrential downpour. Yay!

--Jam is already wet