Needing an Umbrella

Bad morning, you crazy kids.

Yesterday, while I was lying in bed, watching Sex and the City, enjoying my last night on Cumberland, I started to get sick. It was the weirdest phenomenon ever. I had realized that this condition called Nasal Drip had came back (boy howdy, I'm sexy), but while I was lying in bed, my whole body started to ache. I felt really dizzy and by midnight I had cold sweats.

My night was anything but pleasant. I kept waking up, basically delirious. Now I'm sitting in bed, head pounding along with the rest of my body, including my teeth and hair, wondering if I can make it to the walk-in on my own. It's raining and I feel extremely weak, so I don't really want to chance it..

My aunt is taking me and my stuff over to my new place at 7pm, so I have to get it all together, and then maybe bug her to take me over to the doc. What a terrible day to get sick. A day I need to get so much done, when all I feel like doing is sleeping and watching more Sex and the City.

Well I'm going to go take a bath. Sorry the last post of April wasn't very exciting. Go write in your own blog. That would be more interesting.

--Jam the Sicky

PS: Listen to "Umbrella" by Rihanna. The lyrics are ridiculous. The video is uninspired. The song is so catchy. Go now.

Changes

Evening, you crazy kids.

So, my brain is on vacation lately. After the dating thing, my spirits kinda dropped. I was really upset for a couple days, not just over the loss of a great guy (or the prospect of a great guy), but over the loss of my will to date.

Have you ever seen those old cartoons where there's, like, a coyote chasing a rabbit, and they're running and running past the same things in the background, and then the camera zooms out and they realize they're running on a treadmill. Crazy animals. Anyway, I feel like I've been running on that treadmill for so long, never realizing how to get off. I think I'm finally ready to get off now. Whether that means I'll finally find a relationship or I've made it to the point where I can be truly independent, I know that something is changing. I vow that Michael will be the last man to hurt me like that. I may get hurt again, but I will not be playing by the other guy's rules any longer. The treadmill's gone, fellas.

Speaking of changes, I've been watching a show called The 4400 online, catching up. It was amazing in its first season, but by the third season, half the original cast is gone, the plot has changed significantly, and it just seems so different. I guess that's the way shows go. It happened to Lost, even to Survivor, but with The 4400, I feel like it's gone in the wrong direction. Hopefully it veers the right way soon.

Well, time to change my sleep pattern and go to bed before 5am. Night world.

--Jam

Fin

And then it all ended.

I told myself I was going to get hurt. I told myself not to open myself up and like someone romantically. I told myself.

Yesterday I bought all the ingredients for a big meal as I was planning on having him over tonight for dinner. I bought all veggie stuff because he's vegetarian, I bought his favourite wine. Then, last night around midnight, he messages me on MSN to cancel on me tomorrow, as well as to tell me he doesn't want a relationship.

Yeah.

We talked for a bit. I said I just wanted to date, but he went on about being emotionally unavailable.

What I would like to ask him, and everyone else, is why would someone purposely lead on another person? I have checked and rechecked my reality and this is definitely not all in my head. I know he likes me, but for whatever reason, he won't date, so, that's that.

Anywho, I don't have much else to report. I'm pretty down and disgusted with men at the moment, so I'll end here before I drift into emo-land.

--Jam

The One Thing

There comes a time when every person falls for another. A smile, a quirk, a bad joke - the smallest particularity can send the head spinning and the heart reeling, and last night, it happened to me.

The boy, who will now be revealed as Michael, went out with me last night for drinks and dancing. We went to several bars, had a great time, and I ended up, again, at his house. I didn't quite understand what we were and what his intentions are with me, but I went back to his place anyway. It was a nice night, but it wasn't until I woke up in the early afternoon that I saw what had been missing for so long. We had been sleeping tangled up for hours, but it wasn't until he opened his eyes and smiled that I knew I had found something special. His smile is warm and genuine and in it, I saw the first glimpse of something amazing.

My inner pessimist, who runs a lot of my life these days, says for me to forget him. If I forget him, I don't have the chance of getting hurt. And of course there are things about him I don't like, and I still don't know what we are or his intentions, but that smile makes it all seem worthwhile. The next time I see him, I'm going to tell him how I feel about him and bare my raw emotions like I never have. I'm terrified and worried - of rejection, of embarrassment, of everything - but for all I know, he is too.

I may simply get him to read this while I'm in the room or something because I'm not so great with the emotiony gunk. So, if you're Michael and you're reading this right now, I'm really sorry. I'm bad with saying anything aloud besides sarcastic jerk banter.

Wish me luck, world.

--Jam

The Shrug

Good morning, my precious.

I think I'm going to pick up a book called "Atlas Shrugged". It's a modern (1950's) philosophical fiction based on society and the extinguishing of independent idea. I need a good book to read for the next couple weeks, so I might as well pick up something that is worthwhile.

I went to my aunt's playoff hockey game last night (she's in an amateur league, kickin' some ass). It was super fun. My aunt's team lost by one point, but for some reason I can actually watch them play and enjoy myself. It's probably because they don't needlessly beat each other up like "professional" hockey players. Afterwards I was frozen, so I asked my uncle if we could stop into Starbucks for a bit just to warm up and get something tasty, to which he agreed. Of course he did - who would turn down Starbucks?

Then, Fate dealt me an amazing card. I guess Fate owed me one. She has never given me such a high card before, but this... this was amazing. Something out of a television show or a dating movie.

I walk into the building, and who do you think I see? Let's all guess together now. The boy. He's sitting, back to me, laptop and books in front of him, working on his thesis. I stop dead in my tracks and think, fast. I ask my uncle to go order me something, I walk over to the table, and just stand there. He looks up. We chat for a little bit, inane chatter, but I make sure with my eyes and with the way I'm talking that he knows I am not a happy cookie. So I ask "SO, what happened to you last night?" and he says if he had called I would have bugged him to come out, or he would have caved and just came out anyway. I told him no, don't assume something like that, and he apologized. Exactly what I wanted. I deserved an explanation and an apology and, to my unbelievable surprise, received both in less than 24 hours from the party. Amazing. I told him to call me, went over with my uncle and cousin to drink my coffee, and tried not to think of it after.

It turns out I had ordered a cold drink because I was so flustered in seeing the boy. The cute Starbucks boy let me exchange it. Oh, my Starbucks boy.

Anyway, I went home, emailed him my number, and left it to him. To my second surprise of the day, he messaged me on MSN and we happily chatted for hours. When he went to bed, he said he'd call me later this week, so I let him go. When I went to bed hours later, I noticed my phone had this red light lit up. Of course, since I know nothing about my phone, I freak out, because red lights usually mean bad. He sent me a text message. My first text message ever on this phone says "Hey. Hugs. XO." That's so cute, I could seriously barf.

So, I may be setting myself up for my pain, but I see something in this guy that I haven't seen in a long time, so let's hope it shows itself, rather than his jerk qualities, yes?

--Jam Shrugged

Some Sex, No City

Hey peeps and peepettes.

We'll write today's installment on a boy rant, because what post is complete without some sort of boy drama? A boring post, that's what.

The boy I had the amazing time with on Friday was supposed to come to a party with me last night. Ben threw an amazing end of exam bash, and I thought it would be a fun opportunity for him to meet some of my friends and for us to have a great time amongst other people. I had talked to him on Monday and he said he was most likely going to go, and we'd talk Tuesday to figure out when and where to meet and all that jazz.

Tuesday came and went. Nothing from the boy.
Wednesday came and went. Nothing from the boy. Unfortunately, I do not have his number, so I left him some messages on MSN giving him the address and my cell number in case he was coming. The party came and went with no sign whatsoever of the boy. I haven't talked to him since Monday and I have no idea what's going on.

To be perfectly honest, I don't get why someone would purposely lead someone else on. Does it give them kicks to see another person miserable or upset? Then again, he doesn't get to see me upset, so that can't be the reason. Why would he tell me he likes me, say he wanted to go to this party, and then ignore me for three days? If he didn't want to go to the party, if he was not interested in me, then he could have just told me. Just call me up (he has my number) or even message me or email me or anything. It's so rude and vile for someone to blatantly stand someone up. Yeah, I was really hurt. I let myself like a guy who, from all perspectives, came onto me, and this is what happens.

I was talking to Natalie last night because I was very frustrated, and I came to the conclusion that I am going to get to the point where I am so jaded that I simply won't be able to date. Nearly every time I let myself like a guy, this happens, and I don't know how much longer I can take it.

I also realized that the reason it hurt so much is because this is not only with guys. I am realizing that there are only a certain amount of people who have my interests at heart, as I do with others', and that makes me really upset. My true friends are amazing and I could not do without them, but there are not many left. When I find a guy who I think likes me and wants to be more than just friends, it takes me a long time to trust them because this kind of crap happens. I get hurt.

Anyway, this is just a jumbley mess of my emotions. I'm sure after some sleep and booze, I'll be good as new.

--Jam

The Shrieking Inside

Howdy folks.

So I bought a cell phone! It's the sleek Sanyo Katana and I am absolutely in love with it. It's all white and shiny. I have to download a ring though because it only comes with really odd, stereotypical cell phone rings. There's one on it that sounds like the Psycho "reep reep", only by a mouse. It's like there's a little mouse inside my phone shrieking and pretending to be Norman Bates. It's okay mousey. You'll make it someday.

Does anyone thoroughly enjoy dating?

I'd love to know, because I never seem to. I get paranoid and apprehensive and I hate not talking to the person and wondering about how he feels or how I feel or the future or how he'll feel about my past or how I'll feel about his past or meeting the friends or meeting the family or any of it. It's like the time after a job interview. You wonder how you did, whether you had something in your teeth, did they like your belt, were my shoes dirty, did I stutter, etc. The difference in dating, this period of time doesn't end 'til you're so close that half the fun of dating is gone. I don't get it. I can't say it feels unnatural, but it's stressful to say the least. I know I should calm down and relax and let things happen and mlah mlah mlah, but that is far easier said than done, so don't comment and be like "It's okay, Jam. Calm down.", 'cause I'll bust a cap in yo ass.

Haha, I'm so ghetto.

My other annoyance of late is that my roommate is a disrespectful bitch from hell. We get along well in conversation and almost all the time, but every now and then, she will do the most disgusting things you could imagine. This week's example:

A couple nights ago, I put some clothes in the wash. I left them there overnight by mistake, so when I got up in the afternoon, I went downstairs to put them in the dryer. Now, if my roommate, for whatever reason, desperately needed to use the washer while my clothes were in there, what would be the proper course of action? The correct answer is put my clothes into the dryer. Instead, my roommate took my soaking wet clothes and put them in a pile on the freezer. In a dirty basement, my roommate takes clean yet wet clothing and piles it up on a filthy deep freezer. Obviously I get very mad, but I figure I will just put whatever she has put into the washer into the dryer and rewash my clothes, because besides them being dirty, they will be irreversibly wrinkly, and that is not hot. In the washer are the couch covers. My roommate, in her cleaning fits this week, has had an emergency couch cover cleaning. I can't put that into the dryer per se, and a couch cover is expensive, so I leave my pile of clothes to dirtify on the freezer.

People make me crazy. 13 days 'til I move into my own place. Thank Jebus. Thank Jebus indeed.

--Jam, going Psycho

The Happy Soup Smell

Howdy cowboys and cowgirls!

Oooh, my virus protecty thing just popped up and said "no threats found". Ah, satisfying.

Anywho, I'm all done exams! My last one went smoothly - kicked some serious pre-18th century literature ass. It feels crazy to be done the semester. I keep feeling like I'm slacking off by lying here without thinking of my responsibilities, but look at me! I have none! Well, that's not true. I have to go job hunting again soon. Give it a couple days - I earned this lazy bum time.

I feel great today! I slept for fourteen hours via Neocitrin and woke up feeling very refreshed and semi-coldless! Take that, germs! I think I'll be almost all better by tomorrow when I go to...

Ben's par-tay! Woot! Double woot! Maybe even triple! ...let's not push it.

Ben, former blogger and person in my sidebar, is having an end-of-semester thang and I'm uber excited! Uber! I'm just looking forward to partying with all my friends, doing whatever-the-hell we feel like. The Boy is coming too, so that should add an extra element of fun to the evening, unless my friends go insane and twenty-question his ass. Then I'd have to step in and give them some emergency doses of tequila, stat!

So last night around 9pm, I thought to myself I'd make some soup, drink some Neocitrin and hit the hay early. I brought the soup all the way up to my room, set it on my desk, and dumped it all over everything. Yeah, I'm awesome like that. Have any of you ever tried to clean up soup? It is quite possibly the most difficult substance in the entire world to clean. I mean, I spilled a lot of it, but on top of the broth, there were noodles everywhere. Under stuff, on stuff, in my chair. Yes, in. When I move that chair in a couple weeks to my new place, noodles are going to fall out of it. Mark my words. Anyway, that took me about half-an-hour to clean up. Who needs Neocitrin when you can tire yourself out by cleaning up spilled soup?

I suppose I should do some cleaning and packing today. Ya know, be slightly productive. For now, though, I'm going to lie in bed and bask in the lovely glow that is my life today.

--Jam is basking

Wicked

Hey, you sexy beasts! Rawr.

So, what is going on to all the blogs? Only Liz is keeping up on feeding my blog addiction, so she gets a gold star. I removed Ben and Kelilah from my sidebar because they stopped posting. Don't take offense guys. It's just that you're slackers.

Today I have my final exam of my first year at MUN! I can't believe it. It's like when you were a kid and you had a really exciting field trip coming up, to a theme park or a cider mill or whatever the hell you did when you were a kid, and when you get there, you wake up early and get all excited. Afterwards, you remember the day as one that ended the anticipation, and sometimes you even remember the date. That day, my bloggy friends, is today for me. I hated my classes this term, so I am more than happy to see them go.

Summer is going to be amazing. I've decided and there's nothing you can do about it. I still need to find a job, but as soon as I do, I'll get myself into a neat-and-tidy schedule of working out, living alone, finishing Wicked, working, school, etc. It'll be GREAT. I'll show you.

I'm sick with this disgusting cold. I had some nasal condition thing and I started using a prescribed nasal spray, but very shortly after I started using it, I got dreadfully sick. I'm not sure if it was the spray or the nasal thingy or if I caught something separate altogether. In any case, I was completely stoned on medication yesterday, so it was nice to get to sleep via the Neocitrin highway.

It feels good to be back into blogging. I feel like life has dealt me a whole new hand for me to play with. Life was growing so stagnant, but, even on top of the boy (whom may or may not be into me - haven't talked to him since Saturday), there's new people and new experiences to be had.

And now, people I may have made sick, as I'm beginning to think that I am contageous:
-the boy
-my roommate(s)
-my aunt
-my uncle
-my cousin

My bad.

--Jam

Friday: The Amazing Day

Hello, ladies and gents.

In case you were not aware, Friday was a "Friday the 13th" when we're all supposed to have bad luck, with black cats and broken mirrors gallore. There are lots of people who actually avoid doing anything worthwhile on that day, for the evil luck gods in the sky will smite them, and then you would be smoten and nobody likes that.

I, on the other hand, had one of the best days since I have been in Newfoundland.

Let's go from least-best thing to best-best thing, shall we? Yes. Yes, we shall. Luckily they seem to go chronologically. My life is just so blog-convenient.

Five
I have been doing badly in one of my english courses, and, with much evil laughter from my much evil professor, our exam landed on Friday the 13th. I studied my tooshie off days before, re-read almost everything, and really went into the exam prepared. It paid off. I had to write two essays using two choices of ten questions and I think I did really well. C+ at the least, I'd say. So amen to having that course over, and amen to kicking some evil prof tooshie.

Four
I ran into my amazing friend Rae as I left my exam. I don't see her very often so it was nice to have her tag along with me and have some JamRae time. It's obviously the best time there is.

Three
After my exam, I went to get another english essay back (B+ on that, I might add), and my professor had written a comment saying that she loves my ideas on all my papers and that I should apply for the honours english program! I was so flattered, and it even says that she would help me go about getting in, so maybe I'll be an honours student! Go team Jam!

Two
I ran into my grammar prof shortly after I got this essay back. I wanted to know my mark because if I got 94 or above on the exam, I come out of the course with an A+ (above 89). She wouldn't tell me my mark because she hadn't given out any marks as of yet. I begged and pleaded, in classy Jam form, and just asked if I got above 94. She nodded and said "but you didn't hear it from me." I jumped up and down for about two hours. My first university A+.

One
Later that day, I was feeling good mentally but kind of sick, so I just sat in bed on MSN (it cures what ails ya). Lo-and-behold, the guy that liked the host last week, the one who I wanted to ask out, asked me to come over for drinks and to go out drinking. I didn't really think much of it, just a fun night out with a new person, since I assumed he and the host were still dating. Like many of my thoughts on guys, I was wrong. Things with the two of them hadn't panned out. Interesting.

We drank some wine (a bottle each, good lord) and then, once excessively drunk, proceeded downtown. We had been flirting a bit, but I didn't think much of it either. Once downtown, we mingled with one of his friends and danced for a good hour. I do remember at one point grinding with him even though we were at a straight club. Good times.

We got back to his place, chatted a little more, and went to bed. I don't even remember asking to stay, or being asked to stay, but it just felt like the right thing to do because we had been getting along so well. I mentioned it and he said "it's a good decision" or something along those lines. (This section was all interpretive, as it's all very blurry.

We lied in bed for hours and finally kissed. I don't remember exactly how I asked it, but I asked if this is a booty call or if he actually likes me.

He likes me.

He pursued me! Remember how I asked for that in the last post? I said I wasn't even going to deal with guys unless they came after me, and then it happened. It was a great night, so relaxing resting with him for most of the morning, and he even made me breakfast (a gigantic breakfast - is he telling me I'm too thin? haha..). We're going out again this week and I have to say, I am more excited about him than I have been about a guy in years.

Take that, Friday the 13th! I'm looking forward to the next one.

--Jam the 1st

That's That

Hey, all you cool cats out there in internet land. Big shout out to Kelly who I met in line for Canadian Idol - shows you can meet awesome people in the most unlikely places!

So, after all my insane dating escapades in the last couple weeks (months), I have decided to take this summer to not date whatsoever. No more thinking about guys, no more looking, no gay bar, nothing. I'm going to just take this summer to work out, feel good, focus on my writing, and just be myself. If a guy wants to date me, he can pursue me, because I am sick and tired of being the pursuer. It's exhausting! I don't know how straight men do it all the time.

Anywho, I have a new chat nut for you. He was the final guy in my stream of interesting experiences - enjoy!

-Jam- cdntennispro.blogspot.com says:
oh well that's not so bad
what did you do when you were home?
^J()NNY B^ says:
Nothing really....just hung out with my mom
How did the party go
?
-Jam- cdntennispro.blogspot.com says:
Party was fine.. had a thing for the host, but then found out he's dating some guy and so that was kinda blah
^J()NNY B^ says:
That sucks
-Jam- cdntennispro.blogspot.com says:
Yeah it's my life lol
^J()NNY B^ says:
Mine too
Jesus Like we r both single guys......lets see what could happen
-Jam- cdntennispro.blogspot.com says:
Yeah.. I think I'm taking a break from dating though lol I had a weird couple weeks when it comes to guys so I'm just taking some me time now, but we can definitely meet at some point
^J()NNY B^ says:
K
cool
Yeah I would like a new friend
I am not just going to sleep with any old guy
-Jam- cdntennispro.blogspot.com says:
..that was random - why did you say that exactly
^J()NNY B^ says:
Say what.......THAt i am not going to sleep with any old guy
-Jam- cdntennispro.blogspot.com says:
uh huuuh.. but what does you sleeping with someone have to do with what we were talking about
^J()NNY B^ says:
Because i would like u to at least know I don't just sleep with anyone
Because u said u don't want to date
I just wanted to see what could happen.........not like i am ready for anything yet
-Jam- cdntennispro.blogspot.com says:
well right.. but I mean even if I did want to date you, you sleeping with me or anyone for that matter is really irrelevant because I hardly know you
^J()NNY B^ says:
YEAh i know
Just wanted you to know
-Jam- cdntennispro.blogspot.com says:
kay
^J()NNY B^ says:
I didn't mean it to be bad
-Jam- cdntennispro.blogspot.com says:
it was just very out of the blue
^J()NNY B^ says:
Sometimes i do that
Big mouth
-Jam- cdntennispro.blogspot.com says:
lol
^J()NNY B^ says:
YEp
hahaha
So how's school going
-Jam- cdntennispro.blogspot.com says:
It's fine, only two more exams to g
go
^J()NNY B^ says:
good
I am going out next friday nit efor my b-day
-Jam- cdntennispro.blogspot.com says:
oooh nice, how old are you turning
^J()NNY B^ says:
24
TUes the 17th
-Jam- cdntennispro.blogspot.com says:
ah wicked - excited?
^J()NNY B^ says:
Yeah
If I had someone to celebrate with would be better
Like a guy i mean
lol
-Jam- cdntennispro.blogspot.com says:
but I'm sure you can celebrate with friends
^J()NNY B^ says:
Hell yeah

Then the conversation ended. I got kind of sick of his strange desperation.

--Jam

Happy 500

I can't believe it's been five-hundred posts! In just under three years, I managed to write about 500 different things. Well, probably about 100 are boys, 100 are things I can't stand, and the rest are Youtube videos or the ranting and raving of a queer Canadian boy. In any case, happy 500th bloggy! Have some drunken Easter, on the house.


My god, I have serious double chin going on with that crazy smile. Time to break out the ol' Jenny Craig.

--Jam

It's Raining Men

So HI! I feel a little nuts right now. This is going to be a slight continuation on the last boy-rant, because that's all I really have to talk about these days, lol. I'd like to share with you the ever-so-frustrating boy drama (trauma) that has been occurring as of late. Here they are, in no particular order:

Frenchy
We'll start with one you know about, or should if you read my last post. He's in his mid-twenties and just held a fabulous wine party, to which I also explained in the last post. We met at a party about a month ago and have been talking online since. He's a terrific guy with a wonderful heart and he seems to be a fun, social person.

He meets a guy and they're dating. I guess he's not interested, so that smells.

Morocco
I started chatting to a guy online about three weeks ago. He's gorgeous, social, and more-or-less ambitious. We hit it off online (which, of course, doesn't say much for whether we'd hit it off in person), and started to get happy at the thought of a decent guy.

Then I realized he lives in Morocco. Scratch that. A lot.

Guy I Don't Know
I've been chatting to a guy for a couple weeks who lives in St. John's. He seems nice, very social, successful, etc. He's about ten years older than me, so I was a little hesitant, but he seems decent, so whatever. I don't know him that well, but I mean it's always a possibility.

Then he tells me he has a kid. Like, why? Does God want my head to implode? I mean I'm not saying I don't want kids because I do, very much so, but not at this point. I'm in my undergrad for poop's sake. I can barely take care of my cactus, let alone a living, breathing human being. Poop.

Great Guy
I've been dating a guy on-and-off for a couple months now. He's so nice and attractive and all the rest, and by all standards, I should be in a relationship with him.

There's something standing in our way though - some sort of lack of spark. I mean he's amazing in bed, but something isn't right, and it sucks the big shwang. Sucks it long and hard.

Fun Guy
Then there's a guy who I've only went out with once but who is super fun, very social and independent, and an overall great guy. He has a lot in common with me and I am definitely attracted to his personality.

Unfortunately, I am not sure how attracted I am to him physically. It sounds bad, but I mean that's half the battle, right? Can I win the war without that battle? *commits suicide on the battlefield*

Burns
Lastly, we have a bunch of guys (it must be around the half-dozen mark by now) who are recently in relationships. Guys that I would consider dating. Guys of which I am very jealous. I don't mean to be jealous, but when you've been single for as long as I have while trying, it tends to just, ya know, happen.

I'm sure there's more, but those are the main ones that are sending my brain chemicals into a boil. I just feel so insane, like I'm in a bad dating show, like Sex and the City, only with a gay man and with hardly any sex at all. Why can't a guy just flop into my lap and make me happy? Hello, gay-man-rainclouds? My lap is wide open, and not just in a sexual sense. Just, come on. And, now!

Anywho, I'm frustrated, but in a goofy way. I just feel crazy and I'm laughing (involuntarily, I might add) out loud at the situation. Just call me the poster boy for singledom, whether I want to be or not.

I need an umbrella. It looks cloudy, with a chance of acid rain.

--Jam

EDIT: SO, as if my boy problems weren't retarded enough as it is, I just found out that a guy I have been chatting to for about a week, a guy that was basically my last glimmer of hope at any sort of decent date, turns out to be the guy that Frenchy is now dating or whatever! What is going on!? Am I in a bad dating movie? I have never felt so crazy in my entire life. Exam in nine hours. I'm sure that will go over great when all my answers are "men are insane".

A Month and a Day

Hey ya'll.

Sorry about the break. I needed a breather from the journal for a while. I still haven't decided on keeping it or ending it, but for now, we'll just go on a little boy rant, shall we?

I really wish I wasn't wanting a relationship as badly as I am. Everyone keeps saying "you'll find someone when you stop looking", but I can't stop looking. My brain is set in guy-find mode, and the switch to turn it off broke in the banking days of 2006. (It was probably all that hand-sanitizer I used, but I couldn't help it! So unclean are the people of downtown Hamilton! Blech.)

I went to a "mystery wine party" last night and it was a crazy fun time. Everyone brings a bottle of wine and decorates the bottle so that it covers up the label. Then everyone tries a bit of each wine, writes down where they think it's from and what kind (merlot, chardonnay, etc.). There are prizes given out for best dressed bottle, best white, best red, and whoever gets the most correct. My bottle, entitled "Drunken Easter", was done up ALL in ribbons (took me freaking forever). I came in second place for design (lost to a Happy Birthday bottle on the host's birthday - you can't beat that), and my California Chardonnay won best white! Yeah, that's right. I won something! I won a wine pourer thing, which I have been looking to buy for a while now for my liquor bottles, so yee-haw!

The party itself was a terrific success. I met some really great people and really had a blast. *enter boy drama* I really like the host. Like, a lot. I mean, I don't know him that well, but I guess you could say I have a boy-crush. Anywho, I had intended on going to this party and hitting on him, which I did a little. However, about half-way through the party, a boy arrives who the host met the night before, and apparently they are dating or something. Joy. The boy is very nice and hot as well, so it was hard not to want the host to be with him since they're obviously attracted to one another. So aside from having a great time, I also had some awkward annoying times, like being stuck under an awning downtown with the two of them. Yeah, quaint.

Anyway, I guess I'll just have to move onto yet another guy. I feel like Carrie from Sex and the City, only without the sex or the city.

..I think I'll keep the blog going for now, as long as you don't mind guy rants.

--Jam and the Newfies

PS: I'll post a picture of me and my prize-winning bottle in the next post. It's ribbon-tastic!